BRIAN DARCY GIVES ME THE CREEPS
Brian Darcy on left
Brian Darcy - (sometimes Fr Brian Darcy) gives me the creeps. If I come across his picture in a newspaper I quickly skip to the next page. If he suddenly appears on radio or TV I quickly switch the channel.
I have this reaction because I think Darcy is shallow, superficial, insincere and is always wearing a mask.
You never get to see the real Darcy - because he is always wearing a mask.
He is basically a narcissist. He is at the very centre of his own world. Everything Brian Darcy does is done for Brian Darcy. Deep down I think he has a massive inferiority complex and has to push himself into every corner of everything that ever happens to fill the massive void left by this inferiority complex.
If anything interesting happens to anybody else Darcy is out like a flash saying it has already happened to him.
We had all the stories of people being sexually abused by priests. What does Darcy do? He comes out and says that he was abused by a priest too!
We had serious Irish theologians like the Redemptorist Father Tony Flannery being silenced by the Vatican.
What does Darcy do? He announces that he too was silence by the Vatican !!! If he was why is he still the superior of a monastery in Enniskillen? Why is he allowed to preach every Sunday?
If a man somewhere in the USA announced tomorrow that he was pregnant - Brian Darcy would be out like a shot saying that years ago he became pregnant too - and by the Holy Spirit - but that he had a miscarriage on the dance floor at Daniel O'Donnell's wedding and that he has never gotten over losing the baby.
Why does Darcy feel the need to be everywhere when anything public or high profile is happening?
When Daniel O'Donnell - that macho Irish singer - finally got married - Darcy was there presiding like the matron of honour.
When the poet Seamus Heaney died - Darcy was there as the mourner in chief.
When Joe Dolan died - that other famous Irish heterosexual singer - Darcy was there.
He's on the Late Late Show. He's on the Sunday World. He's on BBC Radio on a Sunday morning.
I would not be surprised if I called in to the Enniskillen monastery this Christmas and Darcy had taken the child Jesus out of it and was lying in the manger himself.
The Belfast priest Father Des Wilson, a true priest, once wrote a poem about the Belfast newspaper, The Irish News, called: HOW TO READ THE IRISH NEWS ABOUT BOKIN (vomiting).
If I was writing a play about Brian Darcy it would have to be called: HOW TO LOOK AT BRIAN DARCY WITHOUT BOKIN.
THE FALSE PROPHET
Clerical garb in all the right places.
T shirt or polo at discos and races;
Platitudes foaming from passionless lips,
Anaemic gestures from limp finger tips.
As swift as a fly to freshly dropped stool,
The false prophet swoops to the media ghoul;
Posing at concerts and weddings and do's;
Widows and orphans and victims he woos.
Graveside photos consoling the grieving,
Newsflash images of tears most deceiving;
Emptiest sermons and smarmy old quotes,
Not fooling Christ's sheep but only his goats.
The "hire a priest" of every chat show,
Willing to go where you want him to go;
At night he's a rebel against canon law,
By dawn at the palace he's kissing their paw.
Tells you he loves you just as you be,
But won't life a finger to set your heart free;
Condemns the tough rules in his cringing style,
While watching his back with a sly sick smile.
Pretends he's in love with a farmer's young Mary,
They've never had sex as he's chaste and wary;
Others have said he's game for a hunk,
Would that be all right for a Catholic monk?
With an up front die-hard I'd prefer for to deal,
Whose hallmark's conviction and fervour and zeal;
But Trendy's so dangerous at sixpence each way,
"Get behind me Old Satan" I hear the Lord say.
(Pat Buckley 2002.)
(Pat Buckley 2002.)