Sunday, 7 September 2014

BREAKING NEWS - POPE SENDS FOR BELFAST BISHOP?

BREAKING NEWS

POPE FRANCIS SENDS FOR BELFAST BISHOP?

Unconfirmed reports are coming in that, in a shock move, Pope Francis sent for the Bishop of Down and Connor, Noel Treanor on Friday.


Bishop Treanor on the move?

Sources close to this Blog have speculated that His Holiness wanted to discuss Bishop Treanor's newly renovated palace with him - and the enormous expense of the renovation.

It is reported that Bishop Treanor fit out his palace - now called Chateau Noel - and previously called "Lisbreen", with door handles costing £300 a piece and and has decorated its rooms with imported wallpapers rumoured to have cost £100 a roll. Apparently the palace is furnished with antiques from some of the best known suppliers of antiqurian furniture in Ireland, the UK and Europe.

Bishop Treanor's predecessor as Bishop of Down and Connor lived in a very poorly decorated Lisbreen with furniture that might have come from a charity shop. The picture below shows just how little this wonderful saintly bishop spent on caring for himself.

Bishop Walsh

The alleged papal summons is the latest in a long line of actions by Pope Francis who, when he lived in Buenos Aires resided in a simple apartment and travelled to and from work on the buses and trams.

Earlier this year His Holiness removed the Bishop of Limburg, Germany - Franz Peter Tabartz van Elst for spending £26 million on his new palace at Limburg.

Bishop van Elst
The Limburg Palace

Pope Francis who himself lives in two rooms in a Vatican hostel seems determined to crack down on bishops who live as medieval lords.

He has already forced several US archbishops to abandon their palatial homes for simpler residences. 

Already there is a groundswell of opinion in New York calling on Cardinal Timothy Dolan to move from his grand residence on Madison Avenue worth $30 million.

Cardinal Dolan on the steps of his Madison Avenue home
$30 million residence on Madison Avenue, New York
Pope Francis has called upon bishops to abandon the "psychology" of princes. He said that he wants to see: "a church of the poor living for the poor".
Francis washing the feet of the poor
Bishop Treanor's work came to light last week when one of the workers on the renovation work reflected that the price of a door handle is more than he takes home for a week to feed his family.

This las led to one priest of the diocese saying: "In the UK the currency is Sterling; In Europe it is the Euro; In Down and Connor the new currency seems to be the H - the Handle. From now on curates will be paid H 42.8 per annum and parish priests H 54.2". 

As far as we can accertain there are no immediate plans to launch the H on the international monetary exchange.

Bishop Treanor already lived in a 6 bedroom detached acrosss the road from the palace while the work was on going in a house called Tieve Tara that used to accomodate 4 priests. 

The lounge of Tieve Tara.


DIOCESAN CHANGES:

Meanwhile, this Monday morning Bishop Treanor is back at his desk and has begun moving some priests around - moving the deck chairs on the titanic.

Apparently the highly thought of and hard working curate at St Patrick,s Belfast, Father Kevin Mc Guckian is being moved to Hannahstown.

Rumour has it that David Delargey, the singing priest and parish priest of Hannahstown is moving to St Michael's Belfast.

David Delargy (left)

And the charismatic Sean Dillion is leaving Glenavy.

Canon Rogan has been made a papal count and will take the title Baronet Kilcoo - which means Cille Chua - Church of Mourning!

John Murray (aka "Da Sex") from St Michael's, Belfast, is going to replace Count Rogan in Downpatrick.

Declan Mulligan is leaving Newcastle - where he will be sorely missed by pp James McCrudden to go to Aghagallon.

Colm McBride leaves Dunmurray to go to Gleneavy and the presbytery in Dunmurry is being renamed: "Narnia Lodge" from its former name Netherley Lodge.

Father Patrick McCafferty, who has suffered greatly in the diocese becomes PP Crossgar.

39 comments:

  1. Noel can move them all.

    It will not make the slightest difference overall to the diocese.

    However it will provide work for removal men, decorators etc.

    Priest (D&C)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Who is the 'cracking looking bird' on Fr D's shoulder ?!
    He must be very committed to celibacy, to turn her down !

    Amazed onlooker.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She (God Bless her) is nothing compared with knowing the Lord Jesus!

      PP D&C

      Delete
    2. Is that Zoe Salmon Miss Northern Ireland and Blue Peter presenter?

      Delete
  3. I wonder if she has a brother?

    Priest - D&C

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol father control yourself!!!!

      Delete
    2. Open Minded Parishioner9 September 2014 at 12:39

      What an extraordinary photo. It is hilarious. All the comments have really made me laugh.

      Delete
  4. Bishop Noel went to sea, but not in a pea green boat.
    He went to see the Papal See, to try and stay afloat.
    His critics spied, from far and wide, to keep his boat from sinking,
    and himself in post was first and most the thing that drove his thinking.
    Before he went, with best intent, he lit a hundred candles.
    But you should have seen, in old Lisbreen, the builders changing handles!

    With apologies to Edward Lear's owl and pussycat!
    MournemanMichael

    ReplyDelete
  5. Well done MMM

    I think Edward Lear would be proud.

    Pat

    ReplyDelete
  6. Pat,

    A small group of diocesan priests at a meeting this afternoon wanted to recommend the following appointments to Bishop Noel:

    1. Fr Aidan Brankin to be chaplain to St Louise's Girls Comprehensive College in Belfast.

    2. Fr Hugh Kennedy to be spiritual director to the diocesan Catholic Young Men's Society.

    3. Fr Brian Waters to be chaplain to the Cyber Community.

    4. Fr Rory Sheehan to be head of formation at the Diocesan Seminary.

    5. Fr Tony Devlin to be in charge of the Diocesan primary schools.

    6. Fr Martin Graham to be liason with the Gay Community.

    7. Fr Conleth Byrne to oversee the Diocesan Provident Fund.

    8. Fr Gordon McKinstry to be Diocesan Press Relations Officer.

    9 Archdeacon Kevin Donnelly for further studies.

    PP D&C

    ReplyDelete
  7. Aka 'Da Sex" lol

    That brings back memories of my student days in Saint Malachy's College. Conon Noel Conway had all the reproduction pages removed from the biology books so it wouldn't corrupt the boy's minds. Instead, the short straw fell on poor Fr Murray to teach the 1st and 2nd years the facts of life from the catholic view point. I remember him having a modelled set of wombs that he used to show us how a baby developed throughout pregnancy and then we watched a film of a baby being born. I was in upper sixth with Da Whizz (Donal McKeown) took over, and thanks to his enlightened ways Fr Murray (Da Sex) was spared the embarrassment of having to walk across the quad every June carrying his box of model wombs. He was so embarrassed having to to teach it. I hear that only (Da Spencer) Fr Spence still teaches in the college. The priests there in my time were good guys and had the best of all our interests at heart, sad that the drop in vocations has seen the college bereft of great characters like Da Sex, Da Whizz, Da Rat (Oliver Treanor), Da Elvis (Frank Mullin), Da Lat (Tony McLaverty) , Da Grunt (Gerry Magee), Da Santa (Noel Conway) .... I hope they are all doing well.


    Glen

    ReplyDelete
  8. Pat,

    I just heard Archbishop Eamon Martin (Armagh) speaking on RTE TV, where he said he wishes to lead a "humble renewal of the church in Ireland".
    I wonder what he would think of the "Château de Noel" project ?

    LUX.

    ReplyDelete
  9. He is Noel's meteropolitan.

    I' sure he's cerise with rage.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Should lisbreen not be called chateau noel du pape? Who is the bird with delargey? I knew him and his tonsils (not in a personal way) in rome. If papa franco is calling Treanor in over expenditure fair doos. Proves my point though-The £ in church circles than the needs of abused or wronged parishioners-Take it to the next level franco. Sean

    ReplyDelete
  11. Pat,

    I can see a diplomatic problem ahead; how will +Noel avoid having to invite Archbishop Eamon to the official opening of "Château de Noel" ? Any suggestions from you or your readers/contributers ?

    Who said the life of a diocesan bishop was easy ?! Thank God we have Noel, who still ' moonlights as a diplomat' in Brussels, on a regular basis. It's not what you know, but rather who you know, that counts.

    LUX.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I think we should settle on the name:

    Chateau Noel de Pape

    ReplyDelete
  13. WHAT ABOUT THE D&C "DEPARTED"?

    Will the changes incluse:

    Rev John McManus
    Rev Paul Symonds
    Rev Thomas McGlynn
    Rev John Burns
    Rev John O'Connor
    Rev Gerry Patton

    I notice a lot of these disappeared are c/o Lisbreen.

    Are they actually living at Chateau Noel de Pape?

    Or are they buried in the concrete poured into the renovations?

    Priest

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. old wine old wineskins! Perhaps they are in the (wine) cellar. Sean

      Delete
  14. Pat, given the fact that Pope Francis would I believe disapprove of the "Lisbreen" project I think "du pape" (of the Popes) would be inappropriate. I suggest simply "Château de Noel" or "Châteauneuf de Noel". (Noel's castle or Noel's new castle) as a better title for the diocesan property previously known as "Lisbreen" .

    LUX.

    ReplyDelete
  15. John McManus will assisting big Hughie in measuring up recruits for the CYMS and putting them through their paces. Along with The Priests, they are planning a clerical version of Village People singing 'Down At The CYMS'. Paul Symonds is being sent for further studies in chiropody and reflexology so as to further assist Hughie and John in the CYMS and the seminary.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is good to hear. We have have not had a Diocesan Chiropodist since Canon Donaghy became pp of Maghaberry

      Delete
  16. Fr Thomas McGlynn is new PP of St Agnes. As far as I know, Brian Watters has a degenerative illness and Gerry Patton - alzheimers. John Burns has left ministry and John O'Connor has been 'disappeared' for years now. I doubt if Symonds and McManus will be resurrecting anytime soon (whatever about erecting).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When did John Burns "leave ministry"?

      Delete
  17. Perhaps the D&C "departed" are being held hostage in the "Freedom suite" (dedicated to Nelson Mandela) which is on the first floor of "Château de Noel.
    Paradox, absurdity, and 'smoke & mirrors' , is the 'air' that we breathe in good olde D&C.

    Quo Vadis.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I hear Fr Hugh P Kennedy is moving to Dunloy Parish. After some difficulties there in recent years, it is felt by HQ that Dunloy needs a 'safe pair of hands'. HQ also recognise that Fr Kennedy could benefit from an assignment, where there was less emphasis on Organ music and heavenly choirs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. +NT has a nicer future for him lol!

      Delete
  19. This is good news for Dunloy where the MEN of the parish have been neglected for years

    PP D&C

    ReplyDelete
  20. Glad to c the Bishop has his finger on 'the pulse of the diocese'.

    He 'leads' and no one follows !
    Oh for the halcyon days of Cahal B Daly who though he had his weak points, at least he had something to offer from the pulpit.

    Quo Vadis.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Dear Quo Vadis,

    How strong is the D&C 'pulse' at present ?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Your a first class liar Buckley and fraud. You are not welcome in D&C or in the southern state were you hail from. Go back, get the message loud and clear, you are not wanted in D&C. My Bishop is a genuine man, you are not. You are cruel and you know it. Go be cruel amongst your own.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Friend,

      I lived in the Republic of Ireland for 24 years.

      I have lived in the UK for 38 years.

      I have lived in Northern Ireland and D&C for 36 years.

      This is my home. I'm going nowhere.

      Nor will I allow anyone to withdraw my freedom of hought and speech.

      Delete
    2. My son in law is head of English in a noteable upper school. If you'd like him to help your grammar and spelling send your details so I can connect you. ("Your a first class......")
      Oh by the way, you seem to be in a minority so far as the majority of comments to these blogs are concerned. Indeed, concerned appears to be the dominant theme being expressed here: concern at the obvious mess your D&C diocese appears to be in, even to an outsider.
      You're entitled to your opinion, but it's just that: your opinion. If, as I suspect, you wear a back to front collar, just don't think that allows you to represent anybody other than yourself.

      Delete
  23. The pulse is very weak, and the patient will be moved to the 'Intensive Care Unit', soon. The prognosis is not good !

    Quo Vadis.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Timbo Bartlett has been appointed full time nurse to the Wounded Healer in his retirement. The Episcopal Committee for Nurses Uniforms has designed a special little nursey costume for him with a rather fetching mitre-shaped nurses hat. He will also continue in his role as jester to the IE Con as he waits impatiently and hopelessly to get his pudgy mits on a proper fishes head-shaped hat like all the other big boys.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Changes are now complete. More than a few raised eyebrows I predict!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Rumour has it that HK requires even further education and will be let loose on the students of Kensington while remaining in St Peters as boss!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not "further studies" at Heythrop College, Kensington, London, surely? The usual dumping ground for ackward and difficult priests!

      Delete
    2. Yes, indeed. It is true. Huey is going to be CARRYING ON at Heythrop while continuing to CARRY ON in St Peter's with Nigella. Twil' be handy for the pair as they are fond of nights out on the tiles in London Town!

      Delete