Thursday, 18 September 2014

THE CARDINAL WHO COULDN'T CRY

THE CARDINAL WHO COULD NOT CRY

One night on RTE's Late Late Show Cardinal Cahal Daly told the presenter Gay Byrne that he had bever cried!!!

Up until that moment I had never heard of a person who had never cried.

I thought: "What kind of human being, what kind of Christian, what kind of pastor, has NEVER shed tears.

I published the piece below in the homeless magazing THE BIG ISSUES.

+Pat Buckley
Cahal Daly
ONCE UPON A TIME there was a cardinal who couldn’t cry. Everyone called him Cardinal Dry Eyes. Cardinal Dry Eyes ruled over a vast kingdom of four million souls. His subjects affectionately called him “Eminence” and when they approached him they genuflected and kissed his hand.

The cardinal had everything a man could want. He had a big car, a chauffeur, a golden ring, a golden shepherd’s crook and many telephones and fax machines. He was invited to all the best parties and most months he travelled abroad as a VIP. Everyone gave him great respect and he had immense power.

But the cardinal was very sad. He couldn’t cry!  He knew that a good cardinal should be able to cry. So he called together all the members of his court and promised great rewards to the man who could make him cry.

The Archdeacon approached the throne and in an attempt to bring tears to the prelate’s eyes told him of all the married couples in his kingdom who could not cope with large families and who had resorted to the crime of contraception. As a result they had been designated “mortal sinners”, were banned from receiving Holy Communion and would go to Hell when they died. “Many of these poor people”, said the Venerable Archdeacon, “are living lives scarred by guilt and rejection”. Cardinal Dry Eyes thought about these people for a short while. But still he couldn’t cry.

The Dean approached the throne. He told the cardinal of the 100,000 subjects in his kingdom who marriages had broken down and were living in unblessed “second unions”. “They live, Your Eminence, as religious lepers and are in great pain and misery”. Again the cardinal thought briefly. But again he could not cry.

The Chancellor stood up. He described the plight of the homosexual community in the kingdom who are also made to feel unwanted and who must cope with marginalisation from the church as well as with all the other difficulties of being “different”. “Many of them have been forced to emigrate Your Eminence and others have taken their own lives”. The cardinal dwelt on these people. But no tears would come.

The Vicar General approached and bowed low. “What Your Eminence of the hundreds of priests in your kingdom who find their celibacy vows unbearable, and as a result become involved in secret affairs with women and with men or who turn to alcohol or the abuse of power in order to cope. And what of all the deserted partners of priests and what of all the secret priest’s children”? The cardinal thought and thought. But still he could not weep.

There were many other attempts by the Auxiliary Bishops, the Monsignors, the Canons, the Vicars Forane, the Consultors, the Episcopal Vicars, the Judicial Vicars, the Vicar for Clergy, the Vicar for Social Affairs, the Pastors Emeritus, the Parish Priests, the Administrators, the curates, the Media Relations Officers, the Diocesan Archivists, the Diocesan Historians and the Religious Superiors to make the cardinal weep. But all to no avail. Even an attempt by the Canon Lawyers to inject artificial tears into the cardinal’s eyes came to nothing. There was despair throughout the whole kingdom. Everyone, except the cardinal, sat and wept until a river of tears flowed up the hill and in under the palace door.

And then something wonderful happened. A court messenger arrived with a copy of THE IRISH TIMES. Even though he regarded it as a Protestant type of newspaper the cardinal browsed through its pages. His eminent eyes fell upon a column  by a certain Nuala O’Faolain. The heading was “No Excuse For Church In Scandal Of Priest Child Abuse”.

There the cardinal read of how he had failed to act after the came to know of clerical child abuse. His Eminence read on with ever opening eyes and saw himself being accused of doing little to stop offending priests apart from moving them from parish to parish where they abused again. He felt a lump in his throat as he saw himself being accused of being more interested in covering up for the Church than in the welfare and protection of little innocent children.    And his whole body visibly shook as he read Ms. O Faolain suggest that the Catholic Church in Ireland might not always be of God and that some senior clerics in it might be the present day Pharisees!

The cardinal felt a huge surge of anger and resentment. His lavender coloured lips trembled. Great beads of sweat appeared on his clerical collar. His breathing became laboured. He put is snow white head into his marble hands and as the court looked on am amazing scene unfolded. The courtiers saw huge, translucent tears stream out through the cardinal’s white fingers and fall upon the highly polished marble floor. His Eminence wept for hours and hours. At last he could cry.

Ms. O’Faolain’s name was immediately inserted into the Solemn Liturgy Of Personae Non Grata

Cardinal Dry Eyes changed his name by a no-deed poll to Cardinal Crocodile. The kingdom returned to “normal” and they all lived happily ever after.

17 comments:

  1. Shame on you for slandering the good and holy man that was Cardinal Daly. I am sure that he is praying for you from his place in Heaven. Falls Road Catholic

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    Replies
    1. Have you no sense of humour?

      Only God knows where Chal Daly is.

      Pat

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  2. Pat, I think this is a funny, satirical fable about a man who was too full of his own self importance etc., and who presided over an Irish Church that was descending into folly and scandal. Daly mishandled Brendan Smyth completely and in spite of that was promoted to the top of the monkey tree. Brady continued the Daly mess.

    It we did not laugh at all of this we would cry incessantly.

    I have watched the Irish Catholic Church destroy itself!

    PP D&C

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    Replies
    1. Buckley talking to himself, so pathetic!! Enjoy your last few years. Guess what, we will be here after you. Your story is already written my friend. The deceitful man that we showed charity to!

      Keep going, because those whom you criticise or highlight become hero's in our eyes.

      CC

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  3. Buckley, you are a blasphemous bastard!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought blasphemy was insulting or mocking God.

      Are saying that C B D was God?

      I knew that he thought he was God - but until now I did not know others thought it.

      Pat

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  4. Anonymous is back again!!! Speaking of crying I never cried for years not even at my mothers funeral. Some years later I cried when our horse was put to sleep and When St Patricks Breastplate was sung in church reminding me of my vocation and Gods love for me. Chris Fallone had preached about his own vocation if I recall. I would not discribe myself as a hard b*astard but I think life has made more human which is not a bad thing. On reflection a soutanne is a great place in which to hide if one can stand the claustrophobia. Sean

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  5. Liar, liar, liar, liar. We are laughing at you. A glass is raised to you this evening in the clerical club. It's so warm in here. How is it in Siberia?

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    Replies
    1. Is Jesus in there with you - or is he still where he always was - on the outside, in the desert or in all the other Siberas?

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    2. You seem to enjoy the heat? Its good you guys in the clerical club are getting used to the heat - the heat is your destiny. Oh, are your "cousins" there with you :-)

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    3. Its sad when people have to talk about siberia in order to vent frustration. If I am in siberia it is a fekin mighty place and as my uncle used to say heres to the begrudgers fek em all. Sean

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  6. I have been wondering about this for a while: are those posting very hostile personalised comments without any concrete supporting evidence, against Pat Buckley, doing so, simply and purely because of their personal inclinations and their antagonism towards anything that 'rocks their own comfortable boat', and/or could they be posting while, or after, coming 'under the influence' of the alcohol I'm told many dissipated clerics resort to?
    So I've observed posting times for clues, and tonight it has all become very clear.

    Surely anyone who posts as follows, "Liar, liar, ...etc. A GLASS IS RAISED TO YOU in the clerical club......" answers my questions without the need for any further research MournemanMichael.

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    Replies
    1. Who are you MMM. Are you a blind Buckleyite, a queer or a failed priest. We have God, the people, power and money. We are 2000 years old. You are shit on our shoes. We will be here when you are gone. HA HA

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    2. MMM - personalised posts about Buckley! You failed to mention, personalised blogs!! You think its OK for Buckley to copy and paste photograph's of innocent people (without the permission of the owner), write nonsense about them in an attempt to label them with whatever his ill mind deems worthy of them?
      He spends his time taking pot shots at others through this thing and in my view or and others in this part of the world it is time for legal eyes to examine this medium of evil.

      Try getting the balance MMM

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    3. This further anonymous post @ 00:44 simply serves to confirm my perceptions.
      But sir, since you ask, and to clarify, not for your benefit, for it's obvious from your comments how little you value openness, sincerety or truth:

      I am a 70 yr old, reared in Co Down, as a cradle catholic, who, while at universities in Scotland and England, began the drift away from catholicism when it no longer appeared to have any relevance to my life. Prior to that I spent almost six years in an Irish seminary, leaving before sub diaconate.
      I realised, albeit slowly and hesitantly that the combination of celibacy and illogical roman catholicsm's doctrines were not what I wished to subscribe to.
      I have been a humanist by instinct for many years before realising it to be an entirely logical, rational understanding of the human experience, and one shared by many as the sensible alternative to the sheer illogical irrational mumbo jumbo that is much of formal religion and its doctrines.
      So, having never met Pat Buckley, spoken to him, or attended any of his services, I am not a 'Buckleyite'. But I am interested in the utterly weird influence of religion in the N. Ireland psyche, and its consequences for its people. I have very little positive feelings for roman catholicism's institutional responses to child abuse, segregated education, clerical celibacy, and other issues I see as being totally inhuman.
      I am interested in others sincerely held beliefs and experiences, for I still have a lot to learn and try to understand.
      Above all I'm interested in fair play, and try not to criticise what I disagree with or don't understand. Sometimes I fail, but I'm only human.
      How about you? Can you explain you position with clarity and devoid of reliance on the mysterious concepts endemic in roman catholicism?
      MournemanMichael

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    4. All the photographs I use on my Blog are available for all to see on the Internet - often placed there by the people themselves.

      Much of the information I use on the Blog is also available to all on the Internet.

      Other information I use is the talk of both priests and people in Down and Connor and further afield.

      Other information still comes from those who visit me / communicate with me - priests, people, teachers etc who have suffered / are suffering at the hands of the Clerical Club.

      Mourne Man Michael is NOT me - as I am sure he will indicate himself - and I have never met him

      Pat

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  7. Wow, I want to join the clergy club and raise a glass in the lonlieness of my baron parochail house. I must be a great feeling to be sitting in one's 50's or 60's and to be uprooted from the area one has been living in for a few years and at short notice to go off to some other remote presbytery to indulge in further feelings of solitude and isolation. What a great feeling it must be to minister to congregations many of whom don't give a toss . I would be bouyed up by my odd game of golf with fellow members of the clergy club as they bitch and moan about those whom the bishop has shown favour towards and yet hide and cower lest they been seen to be too clever by half. It must be a great benefit of membership to walk along the street and people pass you by and you know they are thinking "I wonder how many kids he has molested" Send me a membership application quick ! Cheers chaps. The Antrim Coaster

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