WHY I SUSPENDED TERRY BRADY FROM PRIESTHOOD

WHY I SUSPENDED TERRY BRADY FROM PRIESTHOOD

Terry Brady

Five years ago I ordained Terry Brady of Belfast to the priesthood after he convinced me that he had been unfairly dismissed from The Irish College in Rome by it's rector - currently Bishop John Flemming the Bishop of Killala in Mayo.

John Flemming

This weekend I suspended him as a priest and from The Oratory Society. The three reasons I gave him were:

1. His lack of committment to the Society and the congregation that meets at Larne.

2. His psychological instability and immaturity.

3. His continuing and unsubstantiated allegations of being sexually harrassed by Catholic priests.

His story from the beginning was that a number of the then seminarians at The Irish College in Rome had formed a homosexual ring called "The Crochet Club" that met in the college. He said that several of his fellow seminarians had sexually propositioned him and that when he refused to be part of the gay cabal he suffered severe sexual harrasment at the hands of those he had said "no" to. According to Terry they started pushing obscene notes under his door at night; telephoned him with obscene calls in the early hours of the morning and stole his underwear from the college's laundry.

In fairness to Terry a recent Vatican investigation into The Irish College did confirm that a homosexual culture had prevailed there.

Irish College Rome

Furthermore he says he was aware that many of his fellow seminarians were engaging in homosexual sexual practices with each other, with priests who were doing post ordination studies in  Rome and with gay lay men in Rome's gay clubs and saunas. He told me the name of one seminarian, now a priest in an Irish diocese, whom he saw engaging in anal sex in an alleyway near Rome's main railway station. Furthermore he says that this same seminarian was accessing gay pornography on Irish College computers and that some of the "men" he was looking at seemed extremely young?

Before going to Rome Terry had studied at St peter's seminary in Wexford and he says that gay sex was extremely common there both among seminarians and staff and seminarians. To this date Terry says he continues to be propositioned by at least two priests of the Ferns Diocese?

St Peter's Wexford

Terry says that he brought all these matters to the attention of Bishop John Flemming who was the rector of the Irish College. The outcome, says Terry was that he was expelled from the seminary and the alleged offenders were kept on and ordained. I did put these matters to Bishop Flemming in a letter several years ago and he never replied to me. I also made Cardinal Sean Brady of Armagh and Archbishop Dermot Clifford of Cashel aware of these allegations. At the time Archbishop Clifford was supervising the Diocese of Cloyne after the resignation of Bishop John Magee.

Terry claims that he also sexually abused by Father Marcial Maciel, the now disgraced founder of the Legionaries of Christ and is waiting to be paid compensation by the Legionaries.

Marcial Maciel

Of late Terry came to me with allegations against a priest academic in his 70's whom Terry claims was sexually harrassing him. I have spoken to that priest this weekend and he completely denies Terry's claims.

Before ordaining Terry I had a police clearance certificate for him. I had a certificate of his good standing in his teacher's body as a secondary school teacher. I also had a copy of psychological report that he had presented to the Wexford seminary.

But in recent times both I and some members of The Oratory at Larne have come to believe that we made a mistake in ordaining him and in allowing him to minister to and with us. We feel that he has not being showing sufficient committment to his priesthood and the congregation here. We feel that Terry is psychologically and sexually immature. And we feel uncomfortable with the continuing and growing number of accusations of sexual harrassment Terry is making against priests.

Please do not get me wrong. Terry and everyone else - be they man or woman - be they priest or lay person - should not have to tolerate any form of harrassment from anyone and should report such behaviour immediately to the proper civil and church authorities.  

Most people never experience sexual harrassment even once during their lives. Some people do have that experience and maybe have it more than once. Maybe there are some people who are so attractive or desirable out there that they experience it a lot? 

But is there not also the worry of the Lady Bracknell situation - and to paraphrase - "to be sexually harrassed once is a misfortune - but to be sexually harrassed twice sounds like carelessness"?

Lady Bracknell

In any event Terry is no longer with The Oratory Society and we have no responsability for him or his actions - nor does he minister with our approval. As I do not know where Terry intends to go from here I felt it necessary to make that fact publicly known.

+Pat Buckley
30.6.2014. 

EUTHANASIA AND GOD

EUTHANASIA AND GOD

EUTHANASIA is back in the headlines after several high profile legal cases in various countries in Europe.

Like most other things in life the issue of euthanasia is NOT a black and white issue but an issue in which there are many shades of grey.

Intelligent and rational people and Christians know the difference between OBJECTIVE MORALITY and SUBJECTIVE MORALITY.

Objective Morality is about having a set of moral "norms" or beliefs in society as general guiding principles.

Subjective Morality is about applying those objective principles in individual circumstances and taking into account ALL the particular circumstances.

For instance most people agree that the principle THOU SHALT NOT KILL is a good principle. Indeed the basic right to life that we all have comes as near as you can get to a universally accepted moral absolute.

But we also agree that there can be exceptions to that moral absolute. For instance one can morally take a life in the case of self defence if the only way to save your own life is to save the life of your would be killer. Here the question of "proportional force" is in operation.

But those who say: "ONLY GOD CAN GIVE LIFE AND THEREFORE ONLY GOD CAN TAKE LIFE" are being overly simplistic and are showing moral a high level of moral ignorance.

For instance if a man rapes a woman and she conceives a baby as a result of that rape is that GOD "giving" life? Not so! At least not directly.

 But to move on to euthanasia. For myself, I do not envisage my considering it as an option for myself - but who knows how I would feel if I was terminally ill and in great pain and distress? Currently, my feeling for myself (and myself alone) would be that I would want to try to journey with Christ through my last illness and death. My life has been a many cornered journey with Him and I feel that my last illness and death will be the final stage of my spiritual journey. As soneone once cried out: "Do not deprive me of my death". Can I make it very clear that I apply these thoughts to myself and myself alone. I would not wish to impose my notion of life / death journey on anybody else.

I believe that euthanasia should be legal for those who wish it. I do not think that in a modern democracy anyone who is terminally ill should have to flee their own country to be allowed to die. 

Of course I believe that euthanasia has to be very carefully controlled. We do not want to see anyone feeling pressurured into euthanasia because they feel - or are made to feel - a burden on anyone else. Nor do we want relatives and others putting pressure on terminally ill people to opt for euthanasia so that they might get their "inheritance" more quickly.

The state must regulate euthanasia most carefully. Several independent medics should have to be involved. The state of mind of the patient wanting to embrace euthanasia would need to be firmly established. The doctors offering the services in compassion should be protected etc.

Can I also say that I have immense admiration for those involved in the hospice movement - many of whom oppose euthanasia.

And God? God suffers when his creatures suffer. God does not want or will suffering, pain and death. 

And personally I believe that God would have no issue whatsoever with a terminally ill patient freely deciding to go a little early to avoid pain, distress, deterioration, fear, panic or whatever. 

I have had to bring beloved pets for euthanasia. Why would I insist on my fellow human beings being forced to continue in a state of suffering and unbearable distress? 

As a priest I have sat with hundreds of people as they passed. I have never seen a horrific death. I have seen fear - a fear that eventually and quite quickly subsides and was comicly expressed by Woody Allen when he said: "I don't mind dying. I just don't want to be there when it happens". 

When people are dying most often the fear subsides, people drift into unconsciousness and pass away without knowing it. Sometimes this is all helped by the doctors administering increasing doses or morphine - which in itself is merciful and "creeping" euthanasia.  

The God of Love has no problem with us easing the pains of both the living and the dying - once our motivation is pure and our methods are transparent and honest.

May those who are dying today, as we consider this Blog, die holding the hand of someone who loves and cares.
+Pat Buckley
27.6.2014  

  

MEANNESS IS AN OBNOXIOUS ATTRIBUTE

MEANNESS IS AN OBNOXIOUS ATTRIBUTE

We all know and respect people who are generous and we all know and dislike people who are tightfisted and mean.

Apart from being an obnoxious human attribute I do not believe that it is possible to be both mean and a real Christian at the same time.

Personally I find lack of generousity and meanness one of the most offputting attributes in any human being. In fact I really prefer not to have to be in contact at all with mean people.

I have a friend whom I shall call Henry (not his real name) who does not in fact practice any form of religion but who is one of the most generous people I have ever met.

He is now retired and is comfortably off. He is an avid newspaper reader and very often when he reads about somebody's misfortune in a newspaper he makes it his business to find that person's address and send them an anymous donation in the post.

I know this not because he talks about what he does but because in our regular and long conversations about life, religion and people he accidentially lets things drop without realising it. One one occasion a few years ago the grave of a young man from Belfast was vandalised by the paramilitaries who had murdered him. Henry anonymously sent the family a few thousand pounds by post to have a new headstone erected.

When we meet for meals as we regularly do he ALWAYS wants to pick up the bill. Coming to the end of the meal he invariable says: "I think its my turn to pay this time". I ALWAYS insist that we pay time about and have told him that if he does not accept that I will not keep meeting him. Of course I would never do that but it is the only way I can show respect for him and not abuse his generousity.

Thank God I know a small number of generous people like this in my life.

On the other hand I seem to have the misfortune of knowing far too many of the other types. You know the type I mean:

The one who will always let YOU pay for the coffee or meal while they fingerthrough their purses or wallets unenthusiastically.

The one who will always arrive at your house for dinner with the cheapest bottle of wine they can find while saying: "I hope this is ok, I don't know much about wines"!

The one who will bring you their unwanted Christmas or birthday present as a present and make a great fuss over giving it to you.

The one who will arrive in the hospital with a small bunch of wilted flowers from a service station lamenting how difficult it is to find florists these days.

The one who will come to visit you with only foreign currency in their wallet, ask you if there is a bureau de change in the locality and go back home with their wallets intact.

The one you ask for a short term temporary loan who replies: "I would love to but I have had a few big bills to pay this month - pity you didn't ask me last month".

I could go on giving examples. But I'm sure you have already got the message.

The Jesus I love said: "The amount you will be given is the amount you have given".

I wonder how he will deal with mean people when he meets them?

I am now 62 years young. I find as I get older I have less time for mean people. I find that they disturb my spirit. I find that I do not want them in my life as I have other and more important issues to deal with and think about.

I really find myself wanting to tell them to do what Father Dougal in Father Ted told people. I want to firmly tell them to FECK OFF.  Only its not always Feck I want to say.

Am I being intolerant? I am. But I firmly believe that mean people should not be tolerated!

+Pat Buckley
23.6.2014.

PEOPLE PREFER DARKNESS TO LIGHT

PEOPLE PREFER DARKNESS TO LIGHT

Even if you do not believe that Jesus was God you have to admit that, at the very least, he was a very wise man who said many very wise things.

In the Gospel of John 3: 19 Jesus said: "MEN HAVE SHOWN THAT THEY PREFER DARKNESS TO THE LIGHT".

How very true this is!

The early "Christian" church showed it preferred the darkness of the Crusades to the light of religious tolerance and diversity.

The medieval church preferred the darkness of the Inquisition to the the light of allowing others to disagree with them in freedom.

The Protestant Reformation preferred the darkness of the marriage of Church and State to the light of keeping them separate.

The Protestant Reformation preferred the darkness of the ignorant literal interpretation of the Bible to the enlightened understanding of the Bible viewed in its cultural contexts.

The fundamentalist Muslims prefer the darkness of "holy war" and fatwa to the light of leaving men and women to their own conscience and to judgement of Allah.

The fundamentalist Jews in Israel prefer the darkness of their persecution complex and nuclear arms to the light of sharing a modern land mass with their fellow human beings.

American right wing fundamentalist "Christians" prefer the darkness of killing doctors who perform abortions to the light of peaceful protest and peaceful agitation for legislative reform.

The men of the Vatican prefer the darkness of mysoginy, homophobia and sexual repression to the light of equality, tolerance and sexual robustness.

Racists everywhere prefer the darkness of their racism to the light of the Brotherhood / Sisterhood of all mankind.

Criminals everywhere prefer the darkness of their underworld to the light of living and letting live.

 Rich countries and individuals prefer the darkness of their hoarding to the light of the fair distribution of wealth.

The drug companies prefer the darkness of their excessive profits to the light of curing world disease.

And so it goes on and on and on

And men prefer the darkness to the light

What can we as individuals do?

We can try and live in the light in our own little corner of the globe and hope that we can can make a difference.

Our living is only a grain of sand on a vast beach. But even the greatest of beaches are made up of grains of sand.

Yes - it takes hope.....and perseverance.......

But is that not better than the despair that would cause us to blow out our own little candle?

+Pat Buckley
21.6.2014.

THE "CHRISTIANS" HAVE DESTROYED CHRISTIANITY

THE "CHRISTIANS" HAVE DESTROYED CHRISTIANITY

ALL the organised "Christian" churches and denominations have departed from the kind of "church" intended by Jesus Christ and the church that existed in the first two hundred years of Christianity.

In the church that Jesus left behind in 30 AD there were no popes, cardinals, archbishops, auxiliary bishops, monsignors, canons, moderators, rectors, deans, chancellors, superintendents, etc., etc.

The early Christians remained faithful Jews and worshipped in the Jerusalem Temple and then met in small groups in each other's homes to BREAK BREAD in memory of The Lord.

In fact Jesus never came to start a new religion - he came to reform Judaism and bring it completion at the Messiah.

The early Christian churches were assemblies and gatherings of people and the Christian communities were run on collegiate and democratic lines. There were no "clergy" and no "bosses".

As the communities grew in size - and as various heresies crept in - the Christian communites appointed elders (presbyters) to look after them and deacons to look after widows, orphans and the poor.

In the early church venues like Jerusalem, Antioch, Corinth and Rome the "churches" were run by a group of presbyters or elders. 

Over time one such presbyter or elder was appointed to be the senior elder, "episkopi" or "overseer" and this role eventually emerged into the role of "bishop". But the bishop was a servant, the leader of a small community and not the leader of a geographic area. These bishops were not monarchs. The monarch like bishop was a result of the take over of the Christian church by the Roman Empire and was consolidated later in the middle ages.

Jesus never meant there to be a pope, a state called The Vatican and a Roman Catholic Church or a Vatican Bank.

Jesus never meant there to be a Church of England, with Queen Elizabeth as Supreme Governor and bishops in the House of Lords.

Jesus never meant there to be a Presbyterian, Methodist, Baptish church or a bank called The Presbyterian Mutual Society.

Jesus never meant there to be Eastern Orthodox Churches.

Jesus never meant there to be a Church of Ireland with British Army flags hanging inside the church.

Jesus never meant there to be a "religious right" in the USA or a dollar note with "IN GOD WE TRUST" on the back.

THE JESUS PROJECT has not failed.

THE JESUS PROJECT was soon abandoned by men who replaced his project with their own projects.

Christianity has not failed. It has been left behind. It has been forgotten.

And the REFORMATION of the 16th century was as much a part of it being left behind as was the ROMANISATION of the 4th century.

A curse on all your houses, I say!

+Pat Buckley

17.6.2014

WAS IT KING JAMES OR "QUEEN" JAMES?

WAS IT KING JAMES OR "QUEEN" JAMES?

It is very amusing to know that all the fundamentalist protestants who go around quoting from the King James Bible to condemn gay people do not realise that King James was as gay as Christmas!

When King James succeed Queen Elizabeth the great English explor Sir Walet Raleigh was heard to say:

Walter Raleigh

"King Elizabeth has been succeeded by Queen James" :-)

At the age of 13 James fell madly in love with his male cousin ESME STUART and made him Duke of Lennox. 

Esme Stuart

James had also told his courtiers: "I LOVE THE EARL OF BUCKINGHAM MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE AND MORE THAN YOU WHO ARE HERE ASSEMBLED".

King James as a "boy"

All the courtiers were very jealous of Esme's influence with the King and eventually insisted on the King sending Esme back to France. 

Later James fell in love with a young Scotsman called Robert Carr. Thomas Howard - Earl of Suffolk said in a 1611 letter: "The King leans on Carr's arms, pinches his cheeks and smoothes his ruffled garment".

Robert Carr

When older James favourite was George Villers whom he called: "SWEET CHILD AND WIFE".

George Villiers

King James nickname for George was "Steenie" after Saint Stephen who had the face of an angel.

James made Villiers a GENTLEMAN OF THE BED CHAMBER.

So the next time you come across some ignorant Protestant fundamentalist using the King James Bible to comdemn homosexuality remind them about James and his male lovers and tell them they are actually reading THE QUEEN JAMES BIBLE !

+Pat Buckley

16.6.2014

EXCELLENT SERMON ON BIBLE AND HOMOSEXUALITY

EXCELLENT SERMON ON BIBLE AND HOMOSEXUALITY

By: Reverend Michael Piazza

Michael S Piazza is currently the Senior Pastor of Virginia Highland Church in Atlanta, Georgia which is part of the USA Alliance of Baptish Churches.

Formerly he was dean of the Cathedral of Hope in Dallas, Texas where he grew the congregation from 350 to 3,500.

He has a Bachelors degree from Valdosta University, Georgia and a Master's Degree in Divinity from the Candler School of Theology at Emory University, Atlanta.

He and his partner Bill have been together for 34 years and they have two daughters.

http://youtu.be/kR6TmTe3zGM

+Pat Buckley

14.6.2014

IS JESUS ONE OF MANY "GODS"

IS JESUS JUST ONE OF MANY "GODS"

A friend and Blog reader has sent me the above picture which suggests that Jesus was a "myth" and just one of many gods about whom the same or similiar stories were told.

As someone struggling with many issues concerning his Christian faith my friend was somewhat unsettled about this image.

The image certainly gives proponents of the Jesus myth some ammunition - but it does not dent my own Christian faith ONE LITTLE BIT.

I firmly believe that Jesus is God and the Son of God.

I do not believe this because of anything anyone has ever taught me. Nor do I believe it because of any catechism, theology book, theologian or "god spot" in my brain. 

Nor do I believe it because of the brainwashing I received as I went through 14 years of Catholic education or 6 years in the seminary studying philosophy and theology.

I BELIEVE IN JESUS AS GOD AND THE SON OF GOD BECAUSE I HAVE ENCOUNTERED HIM AND EXPERIENCED HIM IN MY OWN LIFE.

I have experienced the intense presence of Jesus on perhaps a dozen occasions in my 62 years of life. I would divide those experience into 4 catagories:

1. Messages I received.
2. Healings I have been part of.
3. Moments of "transportation".
4. Visitation experiences.

MESSAGES:

I have wanted to be a priest from the age of 4. I could not wait to get to the seminary and entered seminary at 18 and was ordained at 24.

I entered Holy Cross Seminary, Dubkin on the 28th September 1970. While I was waiting to go to the seminary that day I had a panic attack - a bad case of pre entering nerves. I decided to go to the parish church to ask God for reassurance and help. Before entering the church I saw a card lying in a puddle of water and picked it up. It read: "GO YOU ALSO INTO THE VINEYARD" (Matthew 20:7). That was the message I needed to reassure me. I was immediately filled with a great peace. I have treasured that card for 44 years and look at it daily in my prayer book.

HEALINGS:

My mother was critically ill in hospital in 2003. I went to the hospital shop to get her mineral water. As I left the shop I saw a young woman crying with a mobile telephone to her ear. I asked her was she ok. She told me that her two year old baby was dying in the children's ward and she was trying to get a priest but couldn't. She saw I was a priest and I went with her to the baby's bedside. The whole family was in the little room. The baby was dying of a massive clot in the brain. I knelt beside the baby - put my bishops crucifix on its head and prayed like never before. I said to God: "Lord I have lived for over 50 years. This little baby is only beginning life. Take the clot of the baby's brain and put it in my brain". After a moment I felt my hands burning with a great heat. The staff came and took the baby to intensive care to help it die without pain. I asked the nother to let me know how everything went.

At midnight the mother rang me. When they got to intensive care the little child sat up in the bed and drank some milk. It then ate a little piece of toast. Later the doctors took the child for a scan. There was no clot left in the child's head. It made a complete recovery.

I do not attribute this healing to myself in any way. It was God who healed the baby in answer to the prayers of a sinner priest. 

I have had 3 similiar experiences in my priestly life of 38 years. 

MOMENTS OF TRANSPORTION:

From 1978 to 1983 I was a curate in St Peter's Cathedral on the Belfast Falls Road. For reasons I have explained in previous Blogs I was deeply resented by two other priests who lived with me who are both now deceased and hopefully having met the Lord are in Heaven. On one occasion of of those priests gave me a severe physical beating in the presbytery dining room.

To keep sane I used to spent from 5pm until 6 pm every day praying in the cathedral - asking for the grace to be able to cope.

On one of those days I was very desolate and having prayed for an hour felt the astounding ABSENSE of God. I fely so sickened by his absence that I wanted to vomit.

I left the cathedral to go and play squash with one of the young women who worked in our parish youth club.

After the game of squash I was alone in the male dressing room having a shower. All of a sudden the scene around me changed and I seemed to be somewhere else. I heard a voice speak - not into my ears - but into me head. It said: "I am not a tap. You cannot turn me on and off when you feel like it. I will come to you in my own time and in a place of my own choosing.  I am with you now and just as the water is gushing all over you so is my grace and strength and it is falling from your hands and touching others".

Suddenly I found myself alone again but with a heart bursting with peace and joy and happiness. I knew I had been touched by God. I also knew that God's touch comes when and where he wants. Not always in churches and cathedrals. It can happen in a sports centre in a shower cubicle.

I have been very fortunate to have a small number of these experiences in my life.

VISITATIONS:

My mother Jo died in 2006. I was her first born of 17 children. She lived with me for the last 16 years of her life. We were very close. But I am not a mammy's boy. We often prayed together. We laughed a lot together.

She died of a stroke that destroyed her abaility to swallow. On her death bed she looked at me and said: "I am very lucky". I found this hard to understand what she meant given the terrible state she was in and I asked her what she meant. She said: "I have been so lucky - God gave me you". I went outside and cried like a baby.

On the first anniversary of her death - 3rd August 2007 I was having dinner and a drink in my kitchen with 4 friends who had never met my mother. It was 10.40 pm and the 4 friends were musicians and they were playing music and singing. Suddenly one of the friends, pointing to the window said: "Pat, there is a woman at the door looking for you". I looked out the window and the security light had come on and I saw my mother standing there and she smiled and waved. All 5 of us saw her. We rushed to the soor and saw her standing beneath a tree in the garden. She disappeared.

But the same scenario happened again 40 minutes later at 11.20 pm. We all saw her again. Again she smiled and waved.

I have never seen her since. But I was comforted to have seen her. She was dressed exactly as she looks in the picture below.

Again I have been fortunate enough to have had a very small number of "spiritual" experiences in my life.

CONCLUSION:

If you want me to ask me to believe that Jesus Christ is a myth you will also have to ask me to deny that Barack Obama is the president of the USA. You will have to ask me to believe that the moon is made of cheese. You will have to ask me to believe that the earth is flat. You will have to ask me to believe Elvis Presley is still alive. You will have to ask me to believe that Scotland in in Australia.

SEEING IS BELIEVING. I have "seen" the reality of Jesus as God and as Son of God. I have experienced him personally and really in my own life experiences.

You can suggest what you like about HORUS, ATTIS, MITHRA, KRISHNA and DIONYSUS.

If I experienced them the way I have experienced Jesus of Nazareth I will believe in them too. But I have not.

I have no desire whatsoever to impose my religious faith on anyone else in the world.

I have the greatest of admiration for agnostics and atheists who hold their views with integrity and sincerity. In fact I have more respect for people like that than I have for fundamentialist Christians, Muslims of Jews.

Anyone who knows the real Jesus could never be a fundamentalist and could never be arrogant or judgemental.

Many of the people who go to churches, synagogues and temples have RELIGION but they do not have an authentic SPIRITUALITY.

"GOD WANTS SPIRITUAL FRUITS - NOT RELIGIOUS NUTS" !

Organised religion is most often a denial of true spirituality. Organised religion is kept going by people who cannot think for themselves and who are brainwashed into following some pope, imman, rabbi or pastor.

Jesus of Nazareth was fully human, fully God, anti-establishment, challenging, tolerant, liberal and disturbing.

As the great Gandhi said: "I ADMIRE YOUR CHRIST - BUT NOT YOUR CHRISTIANS" !

+Pat Buckley
13.6.2014

AN IRELAND WITHOUT PRIESTS

AN IRELAND WITHOUT PRIESTS

Today in THE IRISH TIMES newspaper Michael Harding - columnist and former priest wrote a column entitled: THOUGHTS ABOUT PRIESTS IN A PRIESTLESS WORLD.

Michael Harding

His column made me feel very sad.

He writes:

"I keep wondering where all the priests in Ireland have gone: the ones who used to appear at concerts to do the raffle, presided over weddings, spoke at public meetings in every parish hall, and sat on committees of the GAA. Thuey used to smile from the altars as if they wanted to gather the world into their arms with lullabies of heavenly peace as comforting as a mother's milk.

And you couldn't miss them in the carpark of a good hotel because they usually drove big cars, although I knew some Jesuites who occasionally waited for buses.

I often saw them eating dinner in Wynn's Hotel in Dublin, with their black coats on the backs of empty chairs, and wan creatures with umbrellas dangling from their forearms as they browsed shelves of bookshops along the quays or stood in the queue for tickets to the Savoy. They were all over the place.

Seminaries were stuffed to the gills with young men waiting to take their places in the great battalion that prayed their Masses on Sundays before enormous congregations and arranged their weekday Masses to suit old people who would have found it difficult to negotiate the ice on the church steps earlier than 10 am on winter mornings. But nowadays it's rare to see a cleric in uniform, and when I do I scrutinise his face in case I might have known him in the old days.

Last week I saw a man in black with grey hair crossing the street of a small village as I drove through, and he was clutching what I presumed was his prayer book.

He looked familiar, and I thought he might be someone I knew when I was in college, because I knew a lot of priests back then.

I knew parish priests who smoked pipes and shot pheasants and I knew fat priests who found it difficult to get into their vestments and priests who would drink all night long and needed to hold on to the altar at morning Mass for fear of dizzy spells.

I knew chaplains who slept with teachers and who would douse themselves with aftershave in case some alert staff member might catch the scent of a woman on their hands when they were didtributing Holy Communion. I knew young priests who couldn't take their eyes off their own Volkswagen cars and who had golf clubs sticking out the back windows and I knew old priests who were once young priests who always relished a good breakfast in the convent parlour.

 I knew priests who boasted that they hadn't read a book since they were ordained, and I knew others who had books by Hans Kung and Germaine Greer on their shelves. I knew priests who came back from Brazil with ideas that made women in natural family planning groups blush and priests who had been in jail in the United States for pouring napalm on draft cards and priests who had worked with the poor in Recife.

I even knew some holy priests who had been to deep places in the human psyche and who looked out at the world with disappointed eyes.

There was no single type of priest back then, but they all wore black and they all prayed in little churches tucked away in quiet villages; or in the folds of some lovely valley; or up the mountains at the end of narrow, winding roads that it would be difficult to negotiate if you were in a large Volkswagen and happened to meet a big tractor.

Many of the priests I knew left the ministry disillusioned and are married with children. Others remained as serving clerics, weighing up the good they did for old people, the dying or those already bereaved, and in the balance deciding that to stay within the church was worth the effort, despite the catastrophe of child abuse and the convents full of weeping children.

So I was wondering as I slowed the Jeep to a halt on the street if this grey headed man who crossed was once a friend of mine.

I opened my window intending to say: "Good morning, Father" but then I realised that he was wearing a collar and tie.

"I thought you were a priest", I joked, "when I saw your prayer book. You looked like someone heading to the nuns for a good breakfast".

"Ah no", he said, pointing to his book. "Thats my ledger. I'm just reading the electricity meters".

We laughed, and on I drove, almost lighthearted then, in the priestless world".

Pat writes:

Why did this piece of writing make me feel sad? Maybe it is because I am a 62 year old priest in an Ireland that is fast becoming priestless? 

Maybe it is because the "project" that I have devoted my life to - the church - is now in melt down?

Maybe it it because I knew all the same kinds of priests that Michael Harding knew?

Maybe it is because in spite of meeting priests who were outright bastards - I also knew and meet good priests who inspired me and helped me? And now those good priests are being forgotten in a world full of stories about the bastard priests?

Maybe it is because I know how many priests suffered through imposed celibacy, lonliness, alcholism etc?

Maybe its because I know that the priesthood can be a powerful force for good - but has been used by many as a powerful force for evil?

All I know is that today, Michael Harding's piece has left me feeling melancholic and sad. 

+Pat Buckley
10.6.2014.