NEWS FROM YEAR OF MERCY CONFERENCE
A number of Blog readers have been asking if I received any feedback from my "moles" at the Down and Connor YEAR OF MERCY conference.
My moles have not been in touch but I was surprised to receive my original application to attend back in the post.
Obviously even having a form on file from me is something that the diocese and the LIVING CHURCH office could not cope with.
However it was the accompany letter, returning the form to me, that took the biscuit. It was from a priest called FATHER CONSTANTINE BILE.
He must be a newly ordained or a late vocation as I have never heard of him and he is not the the Down and Connor Directory of Priests.
|Fr C Bile|
LIVING CHURCH OFFICE
21st October 2015.
Most Reverend Patrick Buckley
The Oratory Society.
My Lord Bishop,
I have been asked by the “powers that be” to return to you your FAKE application form for attendance at the Dromantine Conference for the forthcoming year of Mercy.
As a punishment for your FAKE application your fee for the event is being held and will be donated to the Diocesan Slush Fund for priests who father children and for compensation paid to the ex-lovers of gay parish priests and curates.
I take personal exception to your FAKE application on various grounds:
1. I was making love to my own gay partner at 2 am in my presbytery when the Bishop rang me about your FAKE application. This caused me to commit two mortal sins – the sin of coitus interruptus and the sin of Onanism as I lost my seed on the carpet in the rush to answer the Bishop’s call on my mobile which was on my tall boy in the corner. I knew it was the Bishop calling because the ring tone was the one for the Bishop – the European Anthem – Ode to Joy.
2. Your FAKE application is making little of Pope Francis’ YEAR OF MERCY. You are long enough around in the Church to know that our MERCY only extends to those who are in full communion with Canon Law and as a heretic, a schismatic and an excommunicant you are no more entitled to God’s mercy than any ordinary f…ing Protestant!
3. Your FAKE application and your promotion of it in your f…ing blog caused a cloud to cover the whole Dromantine Conference. The Bishop made us all recite the Apostles Creed and take a vow not to report anything from the conference to you. He was so angry that he ordered the free bar to be closed each night at 10.30 pm meaning that those of us who always get pissed at these things had to order 10 taxis to bring us to and from the Brass Monkey in Newry – which caused us to spend £2500 of parish and diocesan money that should have been better spent on priests holidays or new items for the Bishop’s Palace in Belfast.
So all in all I hope that you are happy with what you have achieved! You are one evil PORCUM and I hope you die roaring and end up in Hell with Martin Luther and all other Protestant Porcums.
Yours in Christ,
Father Constantine Bile