Monday 16 May 2016

THE GAY "COMMUNITY" AND HOMOPHOBIA

THE GAY "COMMUNITY" AND HOMOPHOBIA
Over the past few days when the Father Rory Coyle story has been raging a small number of people have been, irrationally, accusing everyone and anyone of HOMOPHOBIA.

The Irish News newspaper has been accused of homophobia. This Blog has been accused of homophobia. I have been accused of homophobia. Correspondents to this Blog have been accused of homophobia. 

It seems that in the world we live in if you want to shut someone you don't agree with up you call them HOMOPHOBIC.

HOMOPHOBIA is now one of the great silencers. It is one of the "golden bullets" for shutting people up. Homophobia is one of the great no no's of current PC-ness.

Lets stop and ask ourselves what the word homophobia means.




The Oxford English dictionary defines homophobia as: DISLIKE OF OR PREJUDICE AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL PEOPLE

I will answer for myself and allow The Irish News and Blog correspondents to answer for themselves.

I am a gay man who came out as gay on the front page of THE NEWS OF THE WORLD nearly 20 years ago.


UK: Northern Ireland

'I'm gay' says rebel priest 

Bishop Pat Buckley practices outside the church hierarchy 

I have had the same gay partner for 9 years now and 6 years ago we celebrated together a public Civil Partnership Ceremony in our local registry office.

As a priest I have been celebrating Same Sex Blessing Ceremonies for over 30 years - long before any government brought in same sex civil partnerships or marriages.

When I have been asked I provided spiritual events at the gay pride parades in Belfast and Dublin.

ELEVEN years ago I wrote a book on spirituality and sexuality and have told my own story in that book.




I have taken gay people to live in my home when they were thrown out of their own home by their parents and families.

I have, for over 30 years, mediated between gay individuals and their families.

I have been order off a property in County Down by a father holding a loaded shotgun because I went there to ask that man and his wife to accept their gay son.




I have ministered to dying gay men in the early days of the AIDS epidemic in hospitals like Belvoir Park in Belfast.

I have nursed one gay man in my own home as he died of AIDS.




I have celebrated the funerals of gay men who died of AIDS in the early days. 

I have marched for gay rights at public marches.

So, whoever you are out there, don't you dare accuse me of homophobia.

Don't you dare accuse me of disliking or being prejudiced against homosexual people.

AND - if a gay man or a group of gay people do something that is illegal, immoral or wrong I reserve the right to say they do wrong.

I am a gay man. But I am not a blind or stupid gay man. I don't believe that I or all gay people are infallible or capable of doing wrong.

And remember this - in the context of the Father Rory Coyle scandal - it was a gay man, a member of the "Gay Community", who met him on Grindr and outed him.




And also remember this - in the "Gay Community" there are some wonderful, good and noble people.



But in that community there are also people who are nasty, bitchy, wicked - and yes - HOMOPHOBIC.

But I am NOT one of them!





63 comments:

  1. Spot on, Pat. Well said. Go on ya!

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    1. Pat this is one of the best blogs you've written - clear, decisive, straight to the point.

      I too am a gay man and priest and I have been hurt in the past by a so called member of the gay community. He lured me, used me, lied to me, spent my money and dropped me.

      I know most gay people are not like that.

      Anyone calling you homophobic is a nut case. You were there for me and many others when we had no one to turn to.

      Sorry I do not have your courage and be able to give my name.

      Delete
    2. Some young men see gay priests as fair game the older guy with plenty of money who can be taken advantage of . However there is the opposite I've known a few priests who use their wealth to lure young men with gifts holidays ect then drop them when the nxt young thing arrives . As a priest in either situation your all intelligent educated men you should know better !

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    3. You are correct. I have known of both the situations you describe.And I have also seen the same scenarios in the Church of Ireland and Presbyterian Church.

      Is it not all down to the fact that the ideal (not always achievable) setting for sexual intimacy is in the context of respect, companionship, affection and love?

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    4. Every post and comment from this blog has been screenshotted. How dare you say the things you have and allow other people to be homophobic on your site. You are highly censoring. Its funny you keep censoring the comments of gay people but accept highly homophobic posters. The truth has caught up with you Mr Buckley!

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    5. i can't wait to see pat buckley in the future. he will get a mouthful from me. STOP THE HOMOPHOBIA!

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    6. Not homophobic? I find it hard to believe any gay man (or woman for that matter) could possible read you blog and feel it isn't homophobic in the extreme. This is the 2nd time I've submitted a comment. Clearly you aren't allowing comments that aren't supporting your view. it's a bit cowardly tbh..... no, actually it's very cowardly.

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    7. TOO MUCH! STOP THIS!

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    8. Still censoring the gay community? I've emailed everyone I know and asked them to comment since you are blocking us from expressing our views. So at least it is getting around all the gays in the village that you are too afraid to allow the gay community to have their voice.

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    9. With all the comment blocking it makes you wonder how many people actually agree with Pat. I suspect no one but his own fake comments. I dont believe a single gay person would agree with him having looked at previous posts.

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    10. Pat. Stop this anti-gay nonsense. You are gay yourself! Why make such a big deal of it!

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    11. maybe the good bishop is finding with civil partnership and the fact we will probably soon have gay marriage he is feeling a bit redundant. He does seem to be spending a lot of time on this blog. Doesn't he have an ministry?

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    12. As a gay male, I wouldn't want anyone to read this blog and think that anything Pat Buckley has said in his blog posts is in my name or that I agree with any of it. (Jason, Portadown) btw I was outed myself so I know what Fr Rory must be going through. As a chaplain to the gay community I might have expected/hoped that Bishop Buckley would too. I don't know what pleasure he could take in trying to make it more scandalous. I would love to know why Bishop Buckley thought the Irish news should publish the explicit photos. How would that help anyone?

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  2. The only person responsible for this mess is Rory Coyle. Are we not entitled to some standards from our priests? - have a relationship that is private and respectful by all means - but posting nude pictures of yourself and associated comments is a step to far.

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    1. STOP CENSORING THE GAY COMMUNITY PAT
      (WRITTEN FROM THE GEORGE BAR - WE ARE NOT HAPPY IN DUBLIN THAT YOU HAVE TURNED HOMOPHOBIC.) WE WILL RAISE A GLASS TO YOUR DOWNFALL IN THE BAR. I'LL EMAIL YOU A PHOTO!

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    2. I think the world needs to know what Pat has been writing on his blog. I didn't even know he had a blog. he's probably been slagging us off all along and we never knew cos no one reads his blog.

      Delete
  3. Gay priest at 13:56 writes: "I too am a gay man and priest and I have been hurt in the past by a so called member of the gay community. He lured me, used me, lied to me, spent my money and dropped me".

    Father - YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS!!

    People are entitled to at least basic standards of Christian discipleship from their priests! You should not be running after men and certainly not posting on gay sex websites - nor putting yourself in a position to be "lured". You deserve everything you get! Are you an idiot???

    Appalling! No wonder we are in such a mess. Blaming the Church, celibacy and everything and anything but yourselves is nonsense.

    Get yourselves under control and do what you were ordained to do! Simple as! Period!

    Every human being has sexual desires - whether hetero or homo - or whatever. We all have sexual thoughts/desires dozens of times a day.

    But YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION TO EVERY STIRRING OF YOUR PENISES!!

    Try self-denial, discipline, penance, prayer, keeping yourself in check, not indulging your whims!

    Sexual promiscuity and licentiousness is gravely sinful. Our Lord has clearly said: "What comes out of a man, that is what defiles him. For from within the hearts of men come evil thoughts, SEXUAL IMMORALITY, theft, murder, ADULTERY, FORNICATION, greed, wickedness, deceit, DEBAUCHERY, envy, slander, arrogance, and foolishness" (See Mark 7:20-22).

    Stop excusing your lustful and sinful lifestyles and get back into the grace of God!

    I have every sympathy with a man who falls in love with a woman or man and I think obligatory celibacy needs reappraisal. But for Heaven's sake!!! Grindr??? Picking up young men purely for sex?? Wise up!!

    Stop making pathetic excuses for yourselves. They won't stand up before God when you give account of yourself. Remember the Merciful Judge is also the One who will give "many strokes of the lash" to those who deserve it! (Luke 12:47).

    A priest who is a sinner but who is wise to himself!

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    1. END ABUSE AGAINST GAY PEOPLE! NOW!

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    2. I think I can safely speak on behalf of GLYNI when I say this blog and its contents is both homophobic and damaging to gay people. You Pat, are every gay man's worst nightmare come true.

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    3. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!

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  4. To 15-03

    Self denial, discipline,penance and prayer or a good old shag. Ummmm......Let me see what I'd choose. I think I'd go for the rumble between the sheets.
    As for strokes of the lash.........well now you're talking on my wavelength !!!
    Yeahhaa !

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  5. I can only assume from reading the posts and comments on this blog that Bishop Buckley now supports the outing of gay men. The more publicity it gets the better. Very disappointing.

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    1. It is often the case that - within the Gay community - you meet some of the most vicious, nasty, vindictive, predatory, victimising, self-absorbed bullies - as you ever meet among the non-Gay community. The comments of the paranoid idiots now attacking Pat Buckley illustrate it well. Some people love to be "offended". Get over yourselves! This is about a Catholic priest betraying everything he stands for and giving grave scandal.

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  6. TODAY THIS BLOG IS BEING BOMBARDED WITH REPEATED AND REPEATED COMMENTS FROM PEOPLE CLAIMING TO BE GAY.

    I STAND OVER WHAT I SAID ABOVE AND WILL NOT BE INTIMIDATED BY A BULLY OR GROUPS OF BULLIES - GAY OR STRAIGHT.

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  7. Bombarded? because the gay community have an opinion? because we have a voice? You can try to silence the gay community if you like Bishop Buckley. We will NEVER be silenced by HOMOPHOBIA. NEVER! Every gay person needs to read you blog and be allowed to express their opinions. I know this blog is being linked and shared on Facebook. I am sorry if it is offensive to you that we have opinions that are different from your own. Deal with it! you will NEVER silence the gay community when it comes to out and out homophobia! You can block our comments. But you will not silence us! NEVER! (Patricia, West Belfast)

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    1. Well at last he admits what he really thinks of the "nasty" gay 'community'- we won't expect him at any gay community events since he doesn't believe in it.

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  8. THE FATHER COYLE STORY IS NOT SIMPLY ABOUT A SIMPLE "GAY MAN"

    IT IS ABOUT A PRIEST. BOUND TO CELIBACY AND UPHOLDING THE CHURCH'S TEACHINGS ABOUT SEXUAL MORALITY BEING A HYPOCRITE.

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    1. You were bound to celibacy, weren't you? What happened there? It was ok for you to go marry your boyfriend. What is the difference between you and this gay man? ANSWER THAT IF YOU DARE!

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    2. Are you celibate and upholding the church's teaching?

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    3. No I am not celibate and I am not upholding Roman Catholic teaching.

      I am not part of the Roman Catholic Church

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  9. IF YOU AREN'T INTIMIDATED THEN STOP CENSORING COMMENTS. I'VE TRIED 3 TIMES TO COMMENT AND YOU REJECT THE COMMENTS! LET US HAVE OUR SAY AND THEN YOU CAN GO BACK TO WRITING YOUR NEXT HOMOPHOBIC BLOG POST.

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    1. I AM THE AUTHOR OF THIS BLOG. I WILL NOT BE PUBLISHING HUNDREDS OF "ARRANGED" AND REPEATED THREATS AND ABUSE.

      I WILL PUBLISH A SELECTION OF ALL OPINION.

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  10. I say good on the gay Community for sticking up for themselves! Never give in to a bully. They are usually cowards behind it all. (Chris, Bangor) I'll be raising the contents of this blog with Andrew Muir of our local gay equality group. I think he will take the view of the majority.

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    1. You raise whatever the hell you like with whomever the hell you like, Bangor boy! Grow up!

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  11. GAY POWER! STOP HOMOPHOBIC BLOGGERS!

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    1. I THINK THAT TODAY WE ARE SEEING THE NASTY SIDE OF THE "GAY COMMUNITY".

      NO CRITICISM OF THEM IS ALLOWED.

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    2. I AM NOT PART OF THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH AND HAVE NOT BEEN FOR 30 YEARS.

      I DO NOT AGREE WITH THE CATHOLIC CHURCH'S STANCE ON HOMOSEXUALITY BEING "DISORDERED".

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    3. So you never took a vow of celibacy then?

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    4. So Pat Buckley makes homophobic posts. Us, the 'gay community' point that out and he condemns us as nasty and ugly because we can't take him critizising us? That's extra-ordinary! Thanks Pat. At least now we know where you stand. You've made it quite clear!

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    5. If you didn't take a vow of celibacy I'm not sure how you became a priest let alone a bishop! I'm pretty sure a voew of celibacy is necessary at ordination. Perhaps Rory Coyle didn't take an oath of celibacy either. In which case it makes your entire commentary pointless, and very hypocritical.

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    6. I SAID THAT IN THE GAY COMMUNITY - LIKE ALL COMMUNITIES - THERE ARE GOOD AND BAD.

      IS THAT NOT TRUE?

      SO EVERY GAY PERSON IS GOOD BECAUSE THEY ARE GAY?

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    7. Ahem. may Rory Coyle didn't take them either then. LOL.

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  12. Pat, pay them no heed. The so-called "Gay Community" are showing their true colours - and they are not bright and nice like the rainbow - but dark, sinister and threatening.

    As a woman with same sex attraction, I would not go within a thousand miles of the so-called "Gay Community". They are a bunch of savages and bullies determined to foist their view of "reality" on everyone regardless.

    This bunch of hysterical ideologues attacking you do not speak for all homosexuals, lesbians, trans or bi.

    The sheer HYSTERIA of their attack upon you speaks volumes. A gather-up of vicious bastards, getting tanked up in the George and other "gay" watering holes, manufacturing a typically OTT and vicious vendetta against someone who DARES to think outside their narrow and confined little box.

    What you have said about the Rory Coyle scenario is perfectly right and reasonable and YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SAY IT!! Don't be swayed by the moronic mafia who are generating this persecution. Let them go F@@K themselves!

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    1. MourneManMichael16 May 2016 at 18:52

      As a regular contributor to this site, and one from a hetrosexual background (but as now in my 70's have 'no interest' in the subject!), I'm amazed at the vitriolic comments today criticising Pat. The lady @18:01 above writes with sound and balanced sense.

      For my own part, I understand sex simply as another animal instinctive imperative, like eating and drinking, albeit a much more fundamental one on account of its emotional and physical consequences. The RC church has hi-jacked it for its own purposes, and certainly from the hostile comments above it could seem that the gay community is in danger of doing likewise.
      I agree with the above lady's comments. Pat had every right to publish this blog on Fr Coyle, where the main focus is not on Fr Coyle's inherent sexuality, but on the incongruity of how he foolishly expressed it and his public position as a prominent RC priest.
      MMM

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    2. The so called gay community? Are we not a community? That'll be news to the Rainbow Project I am sure. When they see that on Pat Buckley's blog.

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  13. Pat. Please stop posting comments in support of yourself. It makes you look silly.

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  14. I don't believe pat outed the armagh priest . Pat raised the issue of fr rory going missing some wks ago but the reason was unknown . A few days ago the irish news reported the story of fr rory and then pat reported the story on this blogg . The only person who outed fr rory was fr rory himself ! . As a gay man myself I've no idea what pat has done to be labeled a homophobic . I don't always agree with pat nor dus he with me but he's not a bigot . Folks try to remember before civil partnerships came to UK pat was the only guy you could have went to for a blessing and he gladly did them

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    1. IN FACT WHEN RORY COYLE DISAPPEARED IN MARCH I BELIEVED THAT HE WAS A HETEROSEXUAL MAN AND HAD GONE AWAY WITH A WOMAN.

      ALL I SAID THEN WAS THAT HE WAS MISSING

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  15. Pat...seriously these posters really need to take a good hard look at themselves.
    I am not gay but have many close friends who are and I have shared the last couple of articles with them. There is a general senses among them that there is nothing homophobic in your blogs.
    I am a RC and I believe the church needs to wise up and change, there is a necessity for the church laws regarding marriage and relationships within the Clergy to be reviewed and who cares who they marry!!!
    Now Coyle I do feel sorry for. He has been his own worst enemy in making his sexuality public on social dating sites and caused himself distress and media attention. He should have kept it private until the church sorts it's self out.....
    pay no heed to the nasties Pat they are enjoying hearing their own voices

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    1. I imagine the people criticising Pat would, even now, prefer to sit through Rory Coyle sermons in which he made sexual morality a priority.

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  16. Pat, I don't always agree with you. These people though who are attacking you are coming over as lunatics. They are a nasty shower and,yes indeed, the toxic side of the gay community is being unveiled in all its vicious ugliness. Carry on and don't be intimidated by this hooligan element who think their opinion is the only right one.

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  17. I cannot understand how anyone could call Pat Buckley homophobic ! Where have these people been living for the past 20 years. Everyone has an opinion I appreciate, but if this is representative opinion from the gay community, it is really not what I would have expected.

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  18. Pat. Disregard these so called "gay" ranters. There are probably only two or three of them ramping this up. Ignore them. Most gay people,like me, know you are not anti gay. You carry on. As has been said already here this is all Rory Coyles own fault. Neither you or the Irish News have anything to answer for on this.

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  19. Pat, What an awful situation you now find yourself in. This is turning out to be a complete PR nightmare for you. I feel so sorry for you as you battle away amid the onslaught of a section of the gay community. You must feel helpless and abandoned. Can I dare suggest that you need some help here now to spin this whole thing around.
    As a bishop you should have a "special adviser", Somebody with a track record of inventing suitable phrases which will soften your image.Somebody who will be anxious to enhance his reputation for softening your landing and giving your tough guy image a fattening injection.
    Pat I might just know the man.
    A chap I know has recently " moved across" from his former position in Armagh to a new post in Belfast. He is willing to do any job which involves his undoubted media skills. Unfortunately he has very little pastoral experience but has immense experience for being in the middle of disasters and offering advice
    Would you like me to have a word?

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  20. Go back to the religious nuts you belong to.

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  21. Pathetic gay hater.

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  22. Forget about it all. Monnn for a wee drink in the the Union darling. Xoxo

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    1. The comments made by Bishop Buckley were unwise, ill judged and reckless. Fr Rory is essentially an outed homosexual man. This blog has only achieved to heap misery on a sad situation.

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  23. There is such a lot of nonesense being talked on this blog. And, angry insults which are not worthy of rational and sane discussion.

    The author of this downfall of a priest is the priest himself, Father Rory Coyle. He is a man of 35 years old, ordained a good number of years already, and in full possession of his faculties. It was his decision to engage in unwise activities, and to put himself, his reputation, his ministry, his priesthood and his future at risk. Whilst one can feel a sense of compassion for someone who has got themselves in to a difficult situation and is suffering on account of it, that does not mean that one can absolve the individual of all responsibility and blame everybody else.

    So, it is not Bishop Pat's fault that this has happened. It is not the Irish News fault that this has happened. Both have brought attention to this matter in a balanced way, and that seems right and fair. There are legitimate matters that should be aired and discussed responsibly. Neither has caused unecessary hurt or harm by doing so. They have not done so irresponsiblty. I do not detect any 'anti' anything in what they have said or written. Certainly not homophobia.

    So, I would suggest that all the people who have been throwing insults and accusations at Bishop Pat and the Irish News should step back and desist. If you do not have something constructive to add to the discussion, then desist. Please.

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