Wednesday, 21 January 2015

DOWN AND CONNOR - THE FINAL SOLUTION"

NACH UNTEN und CONNOR - DIE ENDLOSUNG

(Down and Connor - The Final Solution)

The new symbol for the Gottes Reich shows how Christianity can be remodeled and reshaped for the purpose of The Final Solution

A priest member of the Down and Connor Resistance Movement (DCRM) has leaked information to this Blog about the plans that are currently being made at Gottes Reich (God's Realm) headquarters at Somerton Strass 73, Belfast, that will be imposed on all Roman Catholics - practising and lapsed - on April 1st 2015.   


Herr BishofFuhrer


The first leaked piece of information is that the name of the headquarters is to changed, from that date, to "Bishofbunker". The city of Belfast will be changed to Noelburg.

The second leak is that the "bishop" is - from April 1st - to be called: "BishofFuhrer". All correspondence to him should be addressed as follows:

Seine Excellenz Herr BishofFuhrer
Somerton Strass 73,
Noelburg.
NG14 4DJ.

The Diocese - Diozese von Nach Unten und Connor - is to introduce its own currency called the "Gottes Mark" (God's Mark) or GM. One GM will be worth Sterling £1 or Euro 1.30.




The current 87 parish councils will have their name changed to "Gemendie".

In time these Gemendie will be disbanded and one member from each Gemendie will join the newly created "Moderatorat" or Moderator's Council. A priest in good standing will be appointed by the BishofFuhrer to be the leader of the Moderatorat and he will be called the "moderatorent". There will be 15 Moderatorats and 15 Moderatorents. Each Moderatorent will be responsible for 25,000 lay people and whatever number of assistants the BishopFuhrer appoints to each Moderatorat. 

The first task of each Moderatorat will be to reduce the number of Masses that are celebrated on Sundays and weekdays in the territory covered by the Moderatorat. They will infiltrate the laity and through carefully prepared propaganda persuade them that these reductions and changes are God's will (Gottes Willen)  and the will of the BishofFuhrer. 


Gottes Willen


Having achieved that first goal the Moderatorat will begin its second great task - the closure of as many churches as possible in it's territory. 

This will be achieved in three phases:

PHASE 1: 



The removal of canonically impure priests to a new holding camp on Rathlin Island called the PRIESTER KAMPF. This camp will be commanded by EmeritusFuhrer von Valshman. The deputy camp commander will Hoch Moderator ( High Moderator) Johan Roganstrut. 



Badge for homosexual priests (75%)


In this camp homosexual priests (who will be the majority) will sport a pink triangle on their uniform; active heterosexual priests will wear a black triangle; and heterosexual celibate priests will wear a white triangle. 


Active heterosexual priests (5%_


Trouble maker priests will wear a red triangle. 

Mentally ill priests will wear glow in the dark triangles in case they escape and are knocked down by marauding goats, passing ferries or low flying aircraft. 


Glow In The Dark triangles for mentally ill priests


Alcoholic priests will wear a brown triangle and priests addicted to gambling will wear a green triangle.  


Kampf Commandant von Valshman


Commandant von Valshman and Deputy Commandant Roganstrut will have the permission of the BishofFuhrer to carry out any experiment on any priest that will benefit the Gottes Reich.  


Kampf Deputy Commandant Rogenstrut


PHASE 11:

Each Moderatorat will pursue the closing down of as many churches as possible in their area and sell these buildings off and send all proceeds to the BishofFuhrer for the furtherance of the aims of the Gottes Reich. 

PHASE 111:

In the vicinity of each closed church the Moderatorat will erect secure structures known as GG's (Gottes Geldautomat) (God's ATM's) measuring 10 feet by 6 feet. Entry to these secure units will be by specially prepared plastic cards issued by Gotes Reich headquarters in Noelburg. Using these card a a 4 digit pin each practising Catholic can enter the GG. Inside the GG they will find the Geldautomat. 



They place their cards in the machine and will be asked for their pin. If successful the Geldautomat will offer them options:

Option A: A consecrated Host for Holy Communion - 5 GM (Gottes Mark)
Option B: A consecrated Capsule of Precious Blood - 5 GM.



Option C: A voucher for the forgiveness of a Venial Sin - 5GM.
Option D: A voucher for the forgiveness of a Mortal Sin - 20 GM.
Option E: A voucher for a sin reserved to the BishofFuhrer - 100 GM.
Option F: A voucher for a sin reserved to the Holy See - 500 GM.
Option G: A home use Baptism Kit - 50 GM.



Option H: A home use Confirmation Kit - 60 GM.
Option I: A Home use Last Rites Kit - 100 GM.



Option J: A voucher for a Marriage Centre - 300 GM.
Option K: A voucher for a Funeral Centre - 500 GM.

The GG machine will take Sterling / Euro notes, Debit and Credit Cards. 10 GM will applied for the use of a Credit Card.

The diocese is also introducing the role of "HOCH MODERATOR" or High Moderator. These Hoch Moderators will be senior to Moderators and will work from the Gottes Reich headquarters. Hoch Moderators will use the letters HM after their names to signal their rank. Current Hoch Moderators are:

HM Eugen Haganer - Gottes Reich Chancellor (ad interim).


Hoch Moderator Eugen Haganer

HM Timo Barker - HM for Education and Public Affairs.

HM Anton Devlinburg - HM for Control of the Reich's Schools, School Principals and Teachers.


HM Anton Devlinburg - HM for Control of Schools, School Principals and Teachers


HM Lieber Peter Owensmann - HM for the Reich's Kinder.

HM Michel Spencburher - HM for the Reich's priests and spiritual director to the Priester Kampf.

This is all the information released so far by the DCRM to this Blog. But further information is expected and will be published upon receipt.











76 comments:

  1. What colour will the triangle be for active heterosexual, mentally ill, gambling priest?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That will be a decision for the BishofFuhrer and the Kampf command.

      I imagine they may have to wear 3 triangles?

      Delete
  2. Will priests who do not agree with the Final Solution be allowed to leave the diocese for another diocese or religious order?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I doubt it. The BishofFuhrer does not want the world to know about The Final Solution and to facilitate "denialability" has put nothing in writing. I think any priest who attempts to escape will be sent to the Priester Kammpf.

      Delete
  3. Pat,

    I will require a 'white triangle' but I'm concerned that this will put me in a very small category & therefore I may feel somewhat isolated.
    Do you have any guidance for me ?

    Priest of Down & Connor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think any priest claiming to be white triangle material will not be believed and may be subject to horrific experiments.

      I know this goes against your obvious integrity but to save yourself I would pretend to be either pink or black triangle material.

      Delete
  4. Pat,

    Thank you for exposing the "master plan". Can I apply for a job in the punishment block of the Priester Kammpf ? There are a few fellow clerics in D&C who I could gladly incarcerate there !

    D&C cleric.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think the punishment block will be pretty harrowing - with inmates forced to pray The Divine Office, meditate for hours, study spirituality and theilogy and undergo surgery without anaesthetic in a search for their hearts.

      However if you feel called to serve there my understanding is that one must apply through Commandant von Valsh.

      Delete
    2. Do you mean incinerate, not incarcerate?

      Delete
    3. I presume Father meant incarcerate as we do not know yet what plans have been made to deal with long term inmates of the Priester Kampf.

      I would like to think that priests who "respond" well to the regime may get a second chance to work in one of the 15 Moderatorats?

      Delete
  5. Pat,

    Thank you for your advice ref the wearing of a white triangle. I shall hear it in mind, as we approach the "new dawn".
    I hear it rumoured that 1) German lessons are to become compulsory for all clerics & seminarians in D&C from Feb 1st 2015.
    2) The council of Priests will from that date also, be known as the "Reichstag".

    Priest of Down & Connor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for that update I had not been informed of.

      If you hear any more let me know and I will communicate to the resistance.

      We have to be very vigilant at this very dangerous time.

      Delete
  6. Under The Final Solution will the office of PP and CC be abolished. I ask this as I suffered greatly as a CC and am now a PP and would not want to be a CC again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My understanding is that the offices of PP, CC, VF etc will be totally abolished. There will be a small number of Hoch Moderators and 15 Moderators. All other priests will be Moderator's assistants or detainees at the Priester Kampf :-(

      Delete
  7. I hope these plans have not been leaked from the office of Ubergruppenfurher Bartlett

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    Replies
    1. I am sure not. My understanding is that he is well thought of at Reich HQ and has not yet lost hope of rising to high office in Gottes Reich.

      Delete
  8. Pat,

    Dramatic news has just reached me from Das Vatican that all D&C seminarians are to be transferred from the Irish College Rome, to the German College Rome, on Jan 31st 2015. German College address is as follows :

    Pontificium Collegium Germanicum, via leonida bissolati, 54, 00187, ROM.

    Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI ( The German Shepherd) has given the move his blessing.

    Priest Of D&C.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is alarming breaking news.

      I had heard a rumour that the D&C BishofFuhrer had recently met with Herr Ratzinger.

      But this meeting was not carried in the media as it was overshadowed by Papa Franco's plans to reduce Catholic families to 3.

      Delete
    2. PS: I had heard that the Swiss Guards had raided the Irish College and seized a large consignment of pink triangles. So far my sources have not been able to confirm these reports.

      Delete
  9. May God bless you all and draw you back closer to Him. May He give you the grace to remember with some humility the priceless gift of your vocation. May He help you rediscover the value and consolation of a sincere daily time of private prayer. May He help you in all your personal struggles so that you can endeavour to be a source of good example to the rest of us, His children. In the end, our life is very short and soon over. We get one chance to try and spend that life the best way we can. Please reflect on this. Cecily.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Cecily,

      Thank you for your beautiful thoughts and wishes.

      I will do this.

      I would only add one little piece to it:

      "May God continue to bless me with a good sense of humour - a sense of humour Jesus Himself must have had - which along with Prayer and Trust in God - is a source of both grace and salvation in this Valley of Tears.

      Delete
  10. "Why persecutist thou Me? "

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Noel, I'm not trying to persecute you. I just have to warn the clergy and people of "the wrath that is coming".

      Pat.

      Delete
  11. I hope we all enjoy St Patrick's Day 2015 because it is to be abolished on March 18th 2015.
    Henceforth the Biskopfuhrer has decreed that in D&C the New national Day will be June 5th, feast of St Boniface, who is known as the 'apostle to the Germans'
    The good news is that St Boniface is the patron saint of "brewers" so though 'green beer' has been banned there will be NO shortage of suitable alcoholic libations !

    D&C Cleric.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am sad to hear that St Patrick is to suffer the same fate as poor St. Christopher.

      The reason the green beer is banned is because it is the same colour as the Triangle for priests addicted to gambling.

      But I am told that for St. Boniface's day the GGs will dispense - free of charge - a selection of beverages.

      Delete
  12. An addendum to the abolition of St Patrick's Day:

    Henceforth BiskopFuhrer Noel has decreed that all Males living in D&C with the Christian name Patrick will on April 1st 2015, relinquish that name in favour of Boniface.
    For e.g. you will as of 1/4/15 be known as Biskop Boniface Buckley.
    Biskop Emeritus Walsh is very upset at the prospect of losing his Patrick forename.The BiskopFuhrer has told him that these sacrifices are necessary for the furtherance of the Reich Project.
    Also I have just learned from a source in the Reichstag, that as of 1/4/15 all clerics in D&C will be obliged to drive German made cars, such as BMW, Volkswagen, & Mercedes-Benz. Reich HQ will arrange in March 2015 for car salesmen to call with Diocesan clergy to arrange this changeover.
    VORSPRUNG DURCH TECNIK !!
    Those clergy who own 2 or more cars will be allowed until May 1st 2015 to make the change.
    BiskopFuhrer Noel has already testdriven a 7 series BMW in preparation to letting go of his VOLVO.
    Also Deutsche Bank will from 1/4/15 become the only Bank available to Diocesan clergy.
    Herr Vater Josef Glover will represent the Biskopfuhrer on the Board of Deutsche Bank.

    D&C Cleric.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Father, thank you for that update.

      I will be very happy to relinquish my name for a new BMW.

      I hope future tribunals will not view this as collaboration :-(

      Delete
  13. Pat,

    A greater threat exists; I have just read secret plans from Reich HQ that the BischofFuhrer wishes to attempt an "Anschluss" (Union) with Derry Diocese, which is presently lead by Bischof Donal.(former German teacher in Collegium St Malachi )
    Herr Vater Bartlett is leading the 'negotiations'.
    Vater Bartlett already drives a BMW and therefore will NOT need to enter the car exchange programme in March 2015.

    Priest of D&C.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Father, I feared it would be only a matter of time before other diocese became involved in The Final Solution!

      I hope that this new Seige of Derry will not succeed.

      Delete
  14. Pat,

    Is it true the Bishop Fuhrer has asked you personally, to be head of the "Rehabilitation Unit" in Das PriesterKammpf ?

    PP D&C.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Father, This is not true.

      St Maxilian Kolbe pray for us.

      Delete
  15. What duties will be assigned to thise priests who are appointed to assist the 15 Moderators?

    PP (for now) D&C

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My understanding is that such priests will have the following duties:

      1. They will be required to take an oath of silence and total obedience to the Gottes Reich.

      2. They will be required to follow all instructions given to them by the BishofFuhrer, Hoch Moderators and Moderators.

      3. They will visit the homes of the laity and reassure them that everything that is happening in God's Will (Gottes Willen) and promise a place in Heaven to all who are faithful.

      4. They will man any churches that are left open and will also man the Wedding and Funeral centres where couples and coffins will turn up with vouchers.

      5. In the afternoons they will tour the GG units accompanied by Gottes Reich security guards, collect all monies deposited in the GGs and lodge all such monies to the Gottes Reich "income" account.

      Delete
  16. #$*@ you Buckley.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Father, Please reattach your Glow In The Dark Triangle - or if you have misplaced it proceed immediately to the Monitoring Unit and request a replacement.

      Delete
  17. News is coming through of a row in the office of Ubergruppenfurher Bartlett. It appears that a report was received by the Ubergruppenfurher that dissent was fomenting in Portglenone against the Final Solution. In order to deal with this threat a panza division was dispatched to perform a seek out and destroy action. After nearly 24 hours the uprising in Portglenone is gaining momentum with the panza division was last seen tearing around the roads near Kilcoo asking astonished onlookers for directions to Portglenone. Ubergruppenfurher Bartlett has wiped the floor with his assistants screaming that in future all snatch squads should have the use of GPS . He has also opposed the appointment of Vater Conleth Byrne to be Vater Josef Glovers standin on the seat at Deutsche Bank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is the resistance in Portglenone being organised from the monastery ir from the presbytery?

      Delete
  18. Kamp Komendant Valshman is reported to have had a new lease of life since being appointed to his new post. He has made a good start by drawing up a torture and physical punishment programme. Seems in the past he had much experience in the punishment squad when assigned to Garrontowerkampf and Malachykampf. "He certainly knew how to put a bit of stick about" said one former inmate

    ReplyDelete
  19. Will Vater Conleth Byrne advise on matters financial in the new Reich

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No. His friend Frau Eva Braun is involved though.

      Delete
  20. Apparently a box of Glow In The Dark triangles has been found in a skip behind McKinstry's Pharmacy in Randlestown ???

    ReplyDelete
  21. Rumour has it that a good friend of Ubergruppenfurher Timotheus von Bartlettoff received a top secret, classified document, a few years ago, from Reichsleiter Kamp, Navan Rd, asking about the suitability of Herr Von B for promotion to Gauleiter in the Northern province. Said good friend passed secret dokument to Timotheus who filled it in himself. Nevertheless, he still has not yet achieved the rank he craves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apparently this is true. Timo was given the letter by his buddy who occupies a prominent role in a famous Co Kildare ecclesiastical playground. Timo wrote his own report and, among his failings, he listed the occasional not getting the full 20 mysteries of the rosary in every day, falling asleep the odd time before finishing Compline and being a bit too fond of Pringles! Apart from that, he's soooo ready to be a Gauleiter!

      Delete
    2. I only know 15 Mysteries of the Rosary - 5 Sorrowful; 5 Glorious and 5 Joyful.

      But maybe there are another 5 Celebratory:

      1. The appointment of Timo to St. Marys.
      2. The Assumption of Timo into Maynooth.
      3. The Ascension of Timo to Sean Brady's Right Hand.
      4. The Transfiguration of Timo into an Episcopal Vicar.
      5. The Ressurection of Timo as Hoch Moderator in Gottes Reich.

      Delete
    3. what about the mysteries of light, Pat?

      Delete
    4. And they are....................

      Delete
    5. There are a quite a number of Mysteries (miseries) of Timo - known to some - the Mischievous Mysteries, the Meddling Mysteries and Maleficent Mysteries! :-)

      Delete
  22. And a box of very brightly glowing triangles have been found in the ancient benefice of Layde! Enough to cover a whole priest from head to toe so that you can be warned of his approach for miles around!

    ReplyDelete
  23. All these jokes are well and good but in the event of the creation of these new pastoral areas as part of the Final Solution and the handing over of financial control to Vater Josef Glover and Vater Conleth Byrne will provision be made for the girlfriends and in some cases the children of clergy. This is an issue that should be addressed as a matter of urgency. One glimmer of hope is that the personal experience of Vater Byrne could be used as a model in this regard

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A very valid point above. But let us also not forget the BOYFRIENDS / PARTNERS of the Pink Triangle priests.

      One such man left the security of his home and community on the Shankhill Road to move to a derelict cottage on the Antrim Coast to be near his priest.

      Is this "convert" to receive any help or compensation?

      After all this case could have ecumenical implications.

      Maybe Vice-BishofFuhrer Farquhar should handle such delicate cases?

      Delete
    2. Frau Eva Braun has expressed some strong views on these topics.

      She can be contacted at:

      Frau Eva Braun
      PO Box 69.
      Loughlinisland.
      Co. Down.

      Delete
  24. Vater Doktor Hugue Hans Kennedy and Herr Nihil von Klintok to take charge of the Knabenchor and maintenance of their organs and their regular inspection.

    ReplyDelete
  25. In order to help Vice Bishof Von Farquhar in his delicate mission can anyone give any more information on the glowing triangles in cushendall or the arrival of the former inner city resident now domiciled on the antrim Coast.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The only other thing I heard about that was that a man dressed in black from head to toe and wearing a Glow In The Dark Triangle who jumped on the bonnet of a moving Jeep in the Lough Neagh area, was later spotted buying fish in a shop at Cushendun.

      Delete
    2. Was this an actual spotting or a fluke?

      Delete
  26. Rev Vater David Delargen has agreed to accept a personal Chair in German Studies, and henceforth will be known as Rev Professor Delargen, and will coordinate German Classes (Language & Culture ) for all D & C clergy.
    RevProf Delargen taught German for some yrs in Our Lady & St Patrick's, Knock.
    The BiskopFuhrer has assured Prof Delargen that his new duties will not impinge on his ability to fulfill his singing schedule.
    Such a caring Biskop.

    Priest of Down & Connor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does all his family members know about this appointment.

      Delete
    2. He has extended family committments.

      Delete
  27. Das BischofFuhrer cares not one jot about the extracurricular activities of D&C clergy, or their "extended responsibilities" (feminine, masculine or familial).

    As long as no serious civil illegality is concerned +BF NOEL can sleep easy at night.

    The case of -----------------------(as per the paperwork I supplied you with) has taught us all that sexual immorality, even when known by parishioners, is no barrier to ministry or promotion in this diocese.

    "Moving is the name of the game"

    Priest of D&C

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Father,

      I do fully understand your total frustration.

      The case you mention is sad and it is still under investigation by various sources.

      Delete
    2. What case may I ask?

      Delete
  28. Is this the story of a past employee with a chip on the shoulder or perhaps two! You are not one of us, you never were! You insist on being our guest, be a better guest please. You are upsetting nthe natives.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank God I was never one of "you".

      I seem to be a very long term guest - 37 years!

      Delete
  29. Pat,
    Gottes Reich units have been active today in the Swatragh area, and a general 'Blitzkrieg' offensive is planned for The Diozese of Derry later this week.
    Bischop Donal has refused the offer of an "Anschluss" (Union) with Das BischopFuhrer Noel, and +BF Noel has instructed his senior lieutenants to brook no resistance.
    Garron Tower will become a POW camp, for resistance clergy outside the Diozese.
    It is rumoured Rev Vater Jan McManusen (Chancellor)is to be brought back from exile in Co Down to be Das KampfFuhrer of Stalag Garron Tower. He is watching reruns of Alcatraz & Colditz movies in preparation, for this specially designated role.

    D & C Cleric.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I have received an email from Gottes Reich Chancellor Rev Vater Eugene Hagens stating that all Hoch Moderator Houses must have zwei portraten ( 2 portraits) visible in the front foyer :
    Firstly of Das BischopFuhrer Noel, with a live sanctuary lamp burning below &
    Secondly Frau Chancellor Angela Merkel , Chancellor of Deutschland.
    Refusal to hang these portraits will result in a lengthy spell of incarceration in Das PriesterKampf.
    Mysogony, dislike of art, or any other such excuse will not be tolerated !

    A fellow Priest has just reported from Strasse Somerton, that the German flag is visible on the roof of Das BischopFuhrer Noel's private residence, and theGerman national anthem can be heard clearly coming from Strasse Somerton, 73.

    Danke mein Gott fur Das BiscopFuhrer Noel.

    D&C cleric.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please try to put your literary talent to good uses. ( We all feel that maybe this thread is wearing a little thin by now ---)

      Delete
  31. I note the above report of an attack at swathagh. I hope the units involved were not tasked to go there via either Portglenone or Rathsharkin. If they were then that might well explain the astonishment of onlookers today as they watched a raid on the church at killyleagh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What directions were the Coffins Facing?

      Delete
  32. Was the raid on the church @ Killyleagh, in any way related to the present "media storm" surrounding the Baron of Killyleagh, Prince Andrew ?!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Was the raid on the church @ Killyleagh, in any way related to the present "media storm" surrounding the Baron of Killyleagh, Prince Andrew ?!

    ReplyDelete
  34. It seems the preparations for an attack on the Derry diocese are now well under way. The former inner city resident who has moved to a cottage on the antrim Coast has broken cover and has been seen in a coastal resort just a few miles from the eastern border of the Derry diocese. He has been seen in the company of a Reichdoktor who has been disguised as a breadman. This activity has all the hallmarks of an intelligence gathering exercise.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I have read through this twice now - it's hilariously funny!

    ReplyDelete
  36. There are some well informed and witty characters on here. There is no doubt that some of this stuff is coming from the centre of diocesean life. If I was bishop I'd be concerned

    ReplyDelete