Monday, 3 October 2016

GAY PRIEST SPEAKS

GAY PRIEST SPEAKS

The following arrived yesterday to me by email. It is very honest. It is not at all shocking. I have heard it all before. But I do think it provides a lot of food for thought.



"Pat, yesterday you asked that a gay priest might speak on here. I am hear to answer that call, I am approx 20 years ordained and have known I was gay since I was about ten. During my teenage years my sexual fantasies were all about men. They were the fantasies I masturbated to.

As a teenager I wanted to have sex with other men but it did not happen for me and I found that very frustrating. On one occasion I did have a very brief sexual encounter with an older man in a public park on my way home from school. I enjoyed it.

My first sexual encounter was when I went into the seminary - which was indeed Maynooth. During my time I was in Maynooth I had sex with four fellow seminarians. During that time I also had sex with three priests - one who was in Maynooth, one who was in the Archdiocese of Dublin and one in my own diocese. 




I also had sexual encounters with a small number of lay students in Maynooth University and on occasions I went into Dublin and had sex with people I met in gay pubs, clubs and saunas. 

I have to say that because of all of this and because of my use of pornography I developed a gay sex addiction. I became increasingly sex focused in my whole life and also took very big risks. I went on to use mobile telephone and internet gay dating sites and spent many nights travelling around having sex with a variety of men in their homes, in public places and occasionally in hotels and guest houses. 

During all this time I contracted a number of sexually transmitted diseases - public lice (crabs), syphilis and genital warts. 




I also began to drink alcohol very heavily and on a number of occasions experimented with recreational drugs. I spent holidays in well known gay resorts. I also used "poppers" more and more as I found it increasingly difficult to get the highs and pleasures I needed. I used male escorts both in Dublin and in London and even brought a small number of them to stay over with me in my rural presbytery. 

Eventually I became very depressed and had to see my GP who put me on antidepressants. Eventually, through a gay support site I found an excellent therapist / counsellor and over time told him my whole story without leaving the slightest detail out. He referred me to another therapist who worked in the area of sex addiction. 

I discovered that at the heart of my sex addiction there was a massive crater of loneliness and and more specifically a very distorted relationship with my father who was a very cruel and violent man who made me feel small and inferior from a very early age. I had a good mother but she was unable to control my father's aggression and anger. As a result I could never deal with God as a "Father". My experience of "father" was one of anger, rejection, violence etc. I could not even comfortably say the "Our Father".




Very man gay men / seminarians / priests have what I call a "Father Wound". I have seen this in my own life and in the life of many others.

Today I am in a much better place. I see my sex addiction much like alcoholism. The tendency will always be there and needs to be carefully managed. I am in a committed relationship with a priest who is older than me and apart from being my partner he is also the human father I never had - although he constantly warns me to avoid the parent / child behaviour. We have some sexual intimacy - but not a great deal and it is certainly not the foundation of our relationship. I still get tempted when I see an attractive man and on a few occasions I have nearly allowed myself to go with it but thankfully did not.

I have been reading your blog about the guys in Maynooth and the guys on Grindr etc. I wonder how many of them have or are on the way to a sex addiction? I have no faith in the Maynooth formators. They probably need help themselves. 

In all my struggle I never felt I could approach and talk to my bishop about my problems or indeed to any other priest. I would have been rejected and talked about over dinners and drinks. 

So this is my experience. It may not be the experience of many priests? But I suspect many priests will see at least part of themselves in my story

I can tell you and your blog readers that the majority of priests and seminarians are gay and many of them are as sexually active as I was. I have been there. I have been WITH them. This will continue to be a source of scandal - just as I would have been a source of scandal had I been caught out",

Father / Friend,

Thank you for sending that. I find it moving and powerful at so many levels. 

On the one hand it reminds us all that many gay seminarians, priests and seminary staff need love and healing.

On the other hand - there is the problem of the organised Gay Cabal and its wickedness to others in seminaries and in dioceses. 

The whole thing needs IN DEPTH INVESTIGATION and IN DEPTH SOLUTIONS and not sticking plaster solutions like The Rosary and having meals with seminary staff.


---------------------------------------------------------------------

BISHOP LIAM McDAID




In the past few days the Bishop of Clogher Liam McDaid has retired on health grounds. In his case the health grounds are absolutely genuine. He seems to have contracted that awful illness - Parkinsons.

He has only been the Bishop of Clogher for 6 years. Before that he had been the diocesan chancellor for years.

While Lima is jointly responsible with the other bishops for thinks like the Maynooth / Gaynooth Scandal - I have a feeling that he was not the worst of them?

I only had one encounter with him when he was a monsignor and the parish priest of Tyholland on the Armagh / Monaghan border.

I was on my way to celebrate two wedding Masses in the South and realised that I had forgotten my Communion Hosts.

I stopped in Tynan to look for Liam's House to ask him could I borrow some. I could not find him. So I went to the chapel and found the sacristy open and helped myself.

When I got home I wrote to Liam and confessed what I had done and included a a Euro 20 note to pay for the hosts I had taken.

He wrote me a very nice letter back.

I wish him well in his health battle.

-------------------------------------------------------



35 comments:

  1. My feeling is that this gay man should have left the seminary when he came to the use of reason...obviously he never came to the use of reason
    Who was funding his lifestyle ?....me and the likes of me
    Theses gay students should get into the real world and earn their living like the rest of us...if they are gay , they are gay, but who gives them the right to be parasites and expect people of whatever and of every orientation feed them.
    Look around you, so called priest, gay men and women have jobs...yes real jobs.
    I have no sympathy for you whatsoever...you were educated...now go an earn your crust like the rest of us.
    Nothing will stop you from loving God and nothing will stop him loving you
    I think our priests should come from all sexes and should not become priests until the age of 35 or 40 after they show that they can deal with a real profession first.

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    1. I completely agree with your sentiments. Gay people can find truth , happiness and love now in the secular world. The Seminary is no healthy hideout for them.

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  2. Thank you
    We need our priests to come from the heart of communities...married if they wish...heterosexual.. Homosexual..
    Just let us be honest , open and truthful
    Close those damn seminaries down...they are destroying our young people...and get rid of all those robes.
    Jesus didn't dress up and he kept in the background until he grew up.

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  3. I wish Bishop,McDaid a very happy retirement - He never wanted to,be a bishop - a very normal,and good priest!
    I thoroughly agree with 10.29 - mitres, croziers, golden rings - we can do without them.
    Our own P.P. has often said that Jesus at the Last Supper probably wore "street clothes" - no. fancy clobber and that were He back he would be wearing t shirt (?) and jeans and trainers - all of which makes sense to me an I am sure - to the average citizen and especially to,young people.
    Finally, under 'anonymity' - anyone can be anything.
    I have a suspicion that some one - describing himself as - PP D&C - was not a priest at all!
    Are you sure, Bishop, that your primary blogger - the letter writer - is really a priest.
    Pip

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  4. I have been following this blog for a long time now and been waiting for the right moment to make a comment.

    I was a seminarian in Maynooth for less than a year and my mother met Msgr Hugh Connolly, Fr Michael Mullaney and Fr Paul Prior during my time there. She said to me after meeting them that she was of the firm opinion that they are gay.

    I would say to Msgr Connolly, Fr Mullaney and Fr Prior that if my mother is right (as women usually are about these things) that you should be honest with yourselves and come out of the closet. Maybe being involved in priestly formation is not the healthiest environment for you and you would better serve the Church in a parochial environment or hospital chaplaincy or counselling, etc.

    I say the above in a spirit of charity and concern for you. But I am also speaking as a committed Catholic with concern for the Church and for seminarians in Maynooth and those young men considering a vocation to the priesthood.

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  5. Pat, please get the facts right regarding Bishop Liam Mac Daid:
    He was NEVER the Vicar General of the diocese - he had been Diocesan Secretary and Chancellor of the diocese prior to becoming bishop.
    The parish in which he worked is called Tyholland - Tynan is not far away but in Co. Armagh and is part of the parish of Middletown, Co. Armagh.
    It my not be hugely important but it's better to have the facts correct.
    And yes, Bishop Liam is a great bishop who, sadly, has been suffering with Parkinson's Disease for about 6 years. He was greatly loved by the priests of the diocese after 31 years of +Joseph Duffy.

    The letter from the gay priest is certainly not a 'one-off'. The church in Ireland has many similar stories to tell. Fair play to him for getting himself sorted and continued good luck & blessings to him. I know from what he says of his own struggle that he is an excellent priest.

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  6. Having Parkinson's isn't the end for bishop mcDaid, just a different way for him to live out his final years...hope he has a
    long and fruitful life. I don't know the man but I do know of the condition and of many older men living with all sorts of conditions.

    What is the purpose of his letter, this priest who is gay.
    Is he looking for sympathy ?.... If he still a priest, he has lived a lie
    Not that I care...just saying.

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  7. Thank you for the factual corrections. Have corrected my text.

    The purpose of the gay priest's letter was to respond to my request for the perspective of a gay priest.

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  8. 11 .00
    What is excellent about living a lie?
    As I've posted in my other posts here I'm not ant gay...definitely no way
    I'm starting to be put off my so called religion ...big time
    I've lived my life in good faith and watched my husband doing the same
    While many of those saing mass are at it like rabbits
    HYPOCRITES

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  9. I hope sacristies are kept well locked theses days
    Haven't you heard about teens doing weird things with communion breads.
    Or was that just the gaynooth students down the pub
    You know the ones getting their kicks and their funny so called education at the expense
    of the gullible laity

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  10. I'm sure most sacristies are locked.

    But communion breads / wafers are just that - breads and wafers.

    I hope all priests would keep consecrated hosts locked in the tabernacle.

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  11. I see Gorgeous Byrne has got his pic taken with a group of others (I presume Irish College seminarians)and it's on the Irish College website......he stands out among all of them because he's wearing his collar......but also because he's absolutely HOT!!! I definitely would given the chance!

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  12. You'd know the bishops conference is taking place in maynooth. The amount of 161 flashy cars parked outside the front door.

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  13. Keep Grindring away all you "fab guys" in Gaynooth. It's all yer aul bastards of a Da's faults, so it is. Daddy wouldn't buy me a bow wow! Boo hoo!

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  14. Maynooth has to be closed down intermediately.

    The place is a menagerie and a running joke at this stage. Do the bishops have any shame or cop on whatsoever?

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  15. There is no such thing as sex addiction it's a complete invention , to be human is to be sexual it's the most ordinary thing in the world. It's only a problem if you don't see it as part of normal life sometimes people have a strong sense of entitlement to express their sexuality that doesn't mean you have to go to prostitues or you have to go to saunas or you have to go anyway at all people with no religious beliefs are in touch with who they are and don't do any of those things , there are gay men who do not see the world as their own domain to exert their sex drive over and that anyone is fair game.


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  16. Maynooth is a gay paradise for Fathers and seminarians...And the poor suffering hard working laity is funding this scandal producing machine...WTF...

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  17. I wish +Bishop McDaid every blessing in is retirement as he deals with his health issues. On that note, rumour around Monaghan is that Charlie Brown will appoint an outsider as +Bishop McDaid's successor and one of the names that has a lot of traction is Timmy Bartlet! Will he get to join the pointy hat brigade? IMO he shouldn't. It should go to someone with the 'smell of the sheep' about them - something seriously lacking in the case of Timmy.

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    1. Bartlett is the exact opposite of EVERYTHING Pope Francis says a bishop should be!

      I hope Archbishop Brown consults widely among the clergy of Down and Connor - Timo's native diocese - and here in Clogher. Bartlett is unsuitable for - and unworthy of - such an important office.

      Although he has spent his life, to date, grooming himself for the episcopate and currying favour with those useful to his advancement, he entirely lacks the necessary pastoral skills, qualities and experience, a good modern bishop needs.

      Pastor Rusticus,
      Clogherensis

      Delete
  18. Recently, the Pope pleaded with Nuncios not to "fish in an aquarium", or confine themselves to a "barnyard friends of friends", in seeking candidates for the episcopate.

    http://irishcatholic.ie/article/sniffing-out-new-bishops-papal-priority

    The Pope said "the right men are out there. Go and find them".

    Fr Timothy Bartlett is NOT one of those "right men"!!

    I hope they do not permit Fr Bartlett his ultimate self-indulgence by making him a bishop, inflicting him on some poor Irish diocese. If they do, it will be another atrocious mistake, by a clueless, visionless and bankrupt institutional Church.

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  19. Six years ago, when Duffy retired, the Big Bearded Dean of Belfast Cathedral was putting it around that he was "getting Clogher".

    Previous to that, when Dromore became vacant, The Dean was intimating that he would soon be relocating from Belfast to Newry.

    And, of course, when Micky Casanova Dallat popped his clogs in 2000, The Dean was sitting beside the phone, waiting for the call that never came, from Navan Road!

    Great and sore was the The Big Dean's disappointment when, in February 2001, one Donal McKeown got the call instead.

    But who knows - will it be 4th time lucky for The Dean, now that Clogher is vacant once more?

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  20. It will sounds like a familiar story to many gays, but at least they're not going around telling people other gay people they are intrinsically evil. Worse still, telling people not to use condoms while they themselves are using them to prevent HIV infection. Really, its a wonder people don't punch Catholic priests in the mouth.

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  21. See 1 timothy 3 on the desire to be a bishop. Perhaps our timothy bartlett has a special devotion to this Pauline passage.

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    1. Nuala, in the light of that text, Nuncio Brown should first ask Timo's wife and kids what sort of husband and daddy he is....? :-)

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    2. Indeed. I wonder do they read that text out at bishops' ordinations?

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  23. Jesus no! We don't want or need Tim Barlett or Hugh Kennedy in Clogher........just because we gave +Noel to D&C doesn't mean we want one in return. If those guys weren't right for D&C they certainly are not right for Clogher either. However, we do need an outsider after
    +Liam for 6 years, +Joe for 31 years & +Paddy for 9 years........give us a break! There's a couple of guys in Clogher who feel that they should be our next bishop and there's too much local politics involved. Yes, time for a suitable outsider to come in and shake this diocese up a bit. Most of the older priests in Clogher will close ranks and try & get one of our own but please God +Charlie Brown will have the wit to cast the net well beyond the diocese.

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  24. Anon at 23:14, I suspect the post about Deanio Kennedy was in jest.

    Bartlett, however, has been furiously and feverishly kissing Charlie's ass since his arrival in Ireland as nuncio.

    Bartlett is determined to become a bishop and, come hell or high water, he won't rest until the prize is his. He has his beady lasered eyes on every diocese that comes vacant, including Clogher. For "any dream will do".

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  25. The Very Rev. Dr Hugh Kennedy has no longer any interest in an Irish episcopal appointment. He now has bigger fish to fry as he does his best to come to the attention of the diocesean authorities here in Westminster. He is a regular con celebrant at the Solemn Mass on a Sunday in our Cathedral. He is well taken with our choir school.
    He is an object of some mirth among the cathedral chaplains who have watched his antics. They have seen the Hugh Kennedys of the world come and go before.
    Vin and Tuckwell( Tha cathedral administrator) are nobody's fools.

    Ambrosden Anthony

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  26. The one thing that stands out is the word loneliness. That was the main thing for me.It is easy to get sucked in and rational thought goes out the window. Justification is not a logical process. The problem is with the system and the poor support for those who need it. Eventually one way or another one does need to take responsibility for ones own actions. I am looking back on years ago in my case and with help from spiritual director and one or two trusted others

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  27. That the former "Dean" of Belfast is loitering around Westminster Cathedral means that he has bugger all to do. Do the Canonesses and students not need Mass celebrated on Sundays?

    The ex-"Dean"'s move, from Down and Connor to London, was simply an exercise in getting rid of him.

    Nowadays, he has nothing to do except haunt Westminster Cathedral, pestering the clergy and choir, hoping for even a vague nod from Vinners.

    He is, in reality, much like "a spare pr**k at a whore's wedding".

    It is both risible and pathetic.

    Chelsea Chaz.

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  28. Bartlett, indeed, is absolutely determined to be a bishop. "For what shall it profit a man to gain the whole world but suffer the loss of his own soul"?

    Sure won't he look nice, in Hell, in his nude, wearing a mitre?

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  29. It just reads like another 'Pat blog.' Full of unfounded scandal.
    I've just said a Prayer for your peace of mind Bishop Buckley.

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  30. The gay priest who wrote his very honest story said:

    "Very man gay men / seminarians / priests have what I call a "Father Wound". I have seen this in my own life and in the life of many others".

    May I suggest that this isn't only an issue for gay priests/men but for straight ones as well. There is an excellent article I found in someone's study titled "Sexual Misconduct in the Clergy: The Search for the Father" by Andrea Celenza: Studies in Gender and Sexuality;
    2004; 5, 2; ProQuest Central

    It's well worth the read. AT the risk of being shot down in flames, personally, I believe that most homosexuality and general sexuality issues come down to such early childhood traumas or even just parenting issues - throw in some sexual abuse and well, and it's sealed and does feel every bit like "I've been gay" or I've felt such and such a way, ever since I was 3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 - whatever. That's life. None of us have a perfect upbringing. The how or why of such traumas or imperfection is important, as is actually believing that such issues are real and exist, but the how to deal with and integrate these issues, that's what really matters. If not dealt with, yes, the priest's testimony here, lays it out clearly, one can often expect such a life, and it's not unusual. The sad thing really is, is when such a 'life' gets legitimated and almost normalized by well thinking gender liberationists. Are these people happy? Ask the priest here. They may be for a while (and this is the version we see and are fed) and while they have the support of gender liberation, but it eventually all falls apart because it's based on really, really bad personal liberation psychology.

    Ah well, that's how I see it, anyway.

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