Friday, 6 April 2018

Man claims he was raped by NUN and fathered her baby during horrific sexual abuse at Catholic home
Edward Hayes told how he was abused for almost three years at the former John Reynolds Home, which culminated in a nun who allegedly raped him falling pregnant
Daily Mirror 3 APR 2018

Bottom of Form


A man claims he was raped by a nun when he was 12 and later went on to father her baby after he became a victim of horrific sexual abuse at a Catholic home.
Edward Hayes told how he was abused for almost three years at the former John Reynolds Home in Lytham St Annes, Lancashire, in the 1950s.
The home was run by The Franciscan Missionaries of St Joseph - a Catholic congregation of nuns - which has apologized for Edward's treatment.
Edward, now 76, waived his right to anonymity to lift the lid on the horrific sexual abuse he suffered to encourage fellow survivors to speak out.
He said he believes his case could be the “tip of the iceberg” in revealing how vulnerable boys were targeted by nuns.
Edward claimed one nun raped him from the age of 12 and was sent back to her home in Ireland in disgrace when she fell pregnant.
He says he never found out what happened to the child he fathered and that his abuser was now dead.

Speaking publicly for the first time to the Daily Express, Edward said he has gone "through hell" for most of his life trying to hide what happened in his past.

Now a grandfather living in Carlisle, Edward claims he fell victim to the Irish nun Sister Mary Conleth, whose real name he said was Bessie Veronica Lawler.
She arrived at the Lancashire home in 1953 to work in the laundry room before she "sought" Edward out, it was reported.
He told the Daily Express: “I had barely started work there when it happened - I was still 12.

"She’d pull my trousers down - she’d push me to the floor and would lay on top of me.
“I hated doing it but she said she’d tell on me if I didn’t, that I’d been a bad boy and I’d be punished."
Edward told the newspaper he would not let Sister Conleth kiss him and that he thought babies "were made by men kissing women.”
As an adult, Edward said he struggled to cope with the abuse which made him turn to drink and led to his marriage failing because he was unable to build "normal relationships".

In 2012, he was granted legal aid to launch legal proceedings against the Catholic Church but became disillusioned with the law firm instructing on his behalf.
Four years later, the breakthrough was made when Edward was offered £20,000 compensation - although he claims most of the cash was lost in legal fees.
Speaking publicly about the abuse, Edward said: "I might not be able to win, but I can get even.”
A spokesman for the Sisters of the Franciscan Missionaries of St Joseph said: “I am desperately sad that abuse took place to Mr. Hayes while he was placed under our care.
“The Franciscan Missionaries of St Joseph have offered our sincere and unreserved apology for the abuse he suffered whilst resident at the John Reynolds Home and all the subsequent pain and trauma which followed the actual abuse.”

“There is no place for abuse in the Church and along with every other agency caring for children and vulnerable adults, we now have stringent safeguarding policies which aim to prevent any possible recurrence of what happened to Mr. Hayes.”


PAT:

This is a very sad case. Edward has lived with the effects of his abuse for over 60 years and has received very little by way of help and recognition.

His child with the nun is most likely alive and would only be in their early 60's.

Most of the stories we have heard about nuns to date have been stories of physical abuse.

But nuns also engaged in sexual abuse - as Edward's case shows.

We forget very often that women have a strong sexual drive and that they too can misuse that drive.

I have always thought that a lot of the nuns I met were both sexually frustrated and further frustrated by the fact that their motherly instinct was denied to them.

There have always been cases of nuns turning to each other for sex in convents in the context of lesbian sexual practices.

One great expression of nun's sexuality was the existence of many cases of nuns having sexual relationships with priests - in the US they called it: The Third Way.

Many other priests, including myself, have had the experience of nun stalkers.

I had two such stalkers in my lifetime and they went to extreme lengths to try and seduce me. 

There is a lot of work to be done in the study of the sexual lives of nuns. 

It would keep sociologists and anthropologists busy for decades.


62 comments:

  1. Have you read the book, The God Squad, Bishop P. ? I read it, in one sitting (such was its compulsability), a few years ago. I don't remember the author's name, but I do recall his telling of sexual abuse against him by one nun in a children's home. (Or was it an industrial school?) Anyway, this abuse occurred in the 50s or 60s in Ireland.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In this case, compulsion is in the eye of the beholder. His comments are full of it.

      Delete
    2. Yes, 11:29, full of...truth.

      Delete
    3. Obsessive self-centredness.

      Delete
    4. I like birthday cake

      Delete
  2. You will have to tell us sometime what the nuns did to try and seduce you and how successful were they.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 00.52
      You smack of being a voyeur.

      Delete
    2. Yes, I am also interested in their extreme methods of seduction..what were they doing ?

      Delete
  3. This poor man. My heart goes out to him.

    Today's blig highlights a realism that nuns/sisters are often perceived as a compassionate face of the church, even with the damage to the image of a priest. In truth those 'in the know' know that sisters are often placed in ways to ensure minimum collateral damage to the church. They are a face for the abused and suffering to meet, but their mission is always firmly on protecting the institution. Good Irish examples are Sr. Colette Stephenson and Sr. Briege O'Neill. What I have learned in life is never trust a sister, and never trust a cleric who insists on being called 'father'.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yours is a one-sided view.

      Delete
    2. Mine is the voice of experience. Cover up is the only Religious order that matters to these people.

      Delete
    3. Your experienced is limited. Audi alteram partem.

      Delete
    4. But 11.29 you, yourself have to appreciate that though you have a "voice of experience", others may have had totally different experiences which are equally legitimate.
      Neither they, nor you, should be so blinkered as to pretend the other doesn't exist.

      Delete
    5. @12.09,

      I agree with you. Other people's experiences count as equal to mine. But I can only present my own experience and my own learning. I have met lovely sisters - but the experience of Colette and Briege have resulted in my default position that no sister can be trusted. Before you know it the knife will be stuck in and twisted.

      I would like to think that the Church has better to offer but my personal experiences are such that I wish I had never heard of the Catholic Church.

      Delete
    6. Shut the church door on the way out.

      Delete
    7. @20.20
      You are already outside of the church with that attitude. How many parables are about the duty to seek out the lost sheep, the lost coin?? How do you miss the very core of your own church's teachings??

      Delete
  4. It is revealing to read how female religious abusers allegedly operated or could behave. As you say there is much to be done. What I wonder is why so much unhealthy sexual behavior seems to be linked to religion

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too much religion, too little spirituality. The former stresses compliance to external means of liturgy and devotion; the latter internal relationship with the living God.

      It is only God who can provide grace to overcome temptation.

      The Protestant Reformers were right: it is vital to have a personal relationship, not with the institutional Roman Catholic Church, but with Christ.

      Delete
    2. Nicely put Magna. I would also add that within the too much of religion there is too much if a focus on sexual control. It operates like a pressure cooker and eventually blows.

      Delete
    3. Yes Magna Carta at 9:41. My abuser was very big on the Protestant Reformers and his personal relationship with Christ. He was “saved”, “born again”, “washed in the Blood of the Lamb” and all. He was going straight to Heaven when he died because he had “trusted Christ” you see. My being raped by him didn’t matter to Jesus. It was all “covered” - covered by the “Blood”. He was “blood washed and blood bought” as he used to say.

      Delete
    4. Obviously, then, he had no personal relationship with Christ.

      I am sorry you were abused by this liar.

      Delete
    5. No faithful Catholic has a personal and living relationship with an “institution” but with Christ. Christ is the Head of His Body the Church. The Church - Jesus’ Church - has an institutional dimension. But it is much much more than that.

      Delete
    6. Magna Carta at 19:16, it’s me at 17:45 again. Thank you.

      My point is that he said he had a personal relationship with Christ. I now know that he didn’t. There are liars and deceivers in all religions. I can see that now.

      I can also see that there are very decent people in all religions who do good - including Roman Catholics of course. In fact, I now know that Roman Catholics also have a personal relationship with Jesus - the opposite of what I was brought up to think.

      The denomination I grew up in emphasised “personal relationship” with God and disdained Liturgy. And yet, there was sexual abuse there too.

      Delete
    7. 17. 45 Sadly many through the ages Christian's and others have used religion for their own ends This is not an excuse and healing needs to be more than fluffy words. With the knowledge we have now the same should never happen again

      Delete
    8. 21:16, you're more than welcome.

      21:08, you're wrong. Any Catholic who faithfully (uncritically) follows the teachings of the Roman magisterium will betray fundamental teachings of Christ. Jesus taught unqualified and indiscriminate love, not just of neighbour, but of enemy; Rome has rejected this teaching. For centuries, it has taught that certain human lives are expendable.

      Delete
    9. 23:02 - no - YOU are wrong. And the poster at 21:16 and 17:15 very effectively called you out on your falsehoods.

      To be faithful doesn’t mean to be uncritical. As usual, you are twisting reality to suit your own toxic views.

      There are many Catholics, past and present, including Popes, who, unlike YOU, are exemplars of Jesus’ teaching on love for everyone, including enemies.

      Delete
    10. Magna, you are spot on. Thank you. CR.

      Delete
    11. I remember my first month in Maynooth. It was called 'The Spiritual Month'. There was little spiritual about it, it was more of an induction... or spirtual reduction where we were told the importance of vestment colours and such liturgical rules.

      One main point of the month was to present several sexual scenarios; role play of characters who were gay, or prostitutes, or adulterous etc. We each had to react to the various characters while the deans took notes on our reactions.

      There was no attempt at any point to teach the catechism.

      There was no attempt at any point to have a coherant spiritual formation.

      There was no concept that a person's reaction to the sexual scenarios presented in month one would change of develope over time.

      Classes were left in open argument over the appropriate response, some condemning homosexuals and others condemning the act - and being 'religious' nobody agreeing to disagree because both bgelieved they were 'right'.

      God help the seminarians who showed compassion, as directed in the Catechism (the deans appearing unaware as to the actual church teaching).

      There is a far cry between religious teaching and institutional cultures. One is life giving the other is life draining. Unfortunately the life draining one is the one most often lived out.

      For those who have suffered at the hands of any clegyperson (regardless of religion) than I am sorry as a fellow human being that your life has been so damaged. I say to you that God loves you. I ask you to also feel the power of God and allow yourself to love yourself entirely. As damaged, dented, hurt people we will each arrive home to our heavenly father, exhausted, worn out and ready to be held in his arms.

      Until then, avoid those who live in institutional cultures and know that as a true member of the faithful you can live life to the full, compassionately and independently loving God.

      Delete
  5. I hope Edward can find healing at this stage of his life. It is a very sad story from the 50's. How to offer any meaningful words of understanding to him is difficult. Sadly some men and women who became religious or clerics have abysmally failed to be true carers causing much life long hurt. Some of the (religious) women, like the men, entered convents at the age of 14/15, often leaving their country. In a way they were victims of a harsh, disciplined, inhumane system of training. While the majority survived and kept their humanity, some turned into steely, formidable, tough individuals but with a repressed sexuality, like many clerics. This sadly found outlet in physical violence and in some cases, sexual abuse. The regime of formation, however harsh is no excuse for any abuse.I've know nuns from the 60's and have never encountered any crazy or abusive nuns. Nor did any nun ever attempt to stalk me. Pat, why do you always have negative experiences with clerics and religious and place all blame at their feet? Let's not start making wild, untrue judgments on flimsy evidence. The nuns my family encountered through their teaching in schools, hospitals, local parishes, social services, parish sisters have only been good and positive. That work far outweigh any experience of abuse by any religious sister. Hope and pray Edward will get necessary support, healing and that he will find his child.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 8.15 Fully agree. I wonder if the son knows his background. Relative of mine was brought up in a home in Athlone. Try as she might she could never trace her father. Records civil and church came to a dead end

      Delete
    2. So you want all of this moral filth swept under the carpet of human indifference?

      It is evil we are called to challenge and resist, not goodness. What the hell do you reasonably expect Bishop Pat's blog to concentrate on?

      Delete
    3. 09:45 Please keep your comments about this length. It will be easier to scroll past them.

      Delete
    4. So you read it after all!😅

      Delete
    5. No. I’m referring to the number of lines to be scrolled past, not the amount of words.

      Delete
    6. Magna, I wanna take you to the island,and trace your footprints in the sand, and in the evening when the sun goes down, I'll be top and we'll make love to the sound of the ocean x

      Delete
    7. 17.51: Be careful what you wish for! Mags might take you up on the offer but I'd wear an armour suit...Mags is tough as nails and bites fiercely in the act!!!!

      Delete
    8. 17:51 if you saw Magna, your ardour would cool instantly. He’s what they call a munter. He’s a face that would curdle milk.

      Delete
  6. Yes, but it is only through the grace of God expressed through GOODNESS that we can hope to counteract evil. It is very important that victims are heard and helped by having many experiences of our goodness. It is very important that good people (including good nuns) are acknowledged and not demonised "with the same brush" as we know from experience that that helps no-one and since it creates a mindset of bitterness and despair, it solves nothing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 10 36; Good comment. There are too many generalisations and judgments made against all religious because of the failure in "true love and care" by some. Nothing can ever justify abuse of any kind but interestingly, many of the loud voices being heard in criticism are from people who, in their villages, towns and cities engaged in whispered conversations about what went on behind high walls and passed by! The collusion between Church and State was criminal. Families were forced to define and categorise their sons and daughters making then non-entities because of a harsh, cruel, twisted sense of a loving, merciful God preached by the Church I belong to and approved by state agencies, whose responsibilities were taken on by the Church. Many of the relugious did not have adequate psychiatric, psychological or medical training to deal with their challenges. All of society must reflect deeply on the horrendous abuses which took place and personally look into his/her conscience. I was one who shamefully passed by those high walls.That I regret. In today's society, just in the month of February, 3,775 children were registered as HOMELESS: reports this week and for many years show how young, vulnerable children are placed in psychiatric wards. The same reports reveal a complete disarray in the services, transparency and on-going failings of agencies in relation to child protection, not within the Church but in State Agencies. Such failings are almost brushed aside which I find morally reprehensible. Look too at the numbers of families who were defined as homeless last month - over 1,700. Can we say that we are a more caring society where we truly care for the most needy and vulnerable? We would have thought that we learned lessons from our past but regrettably, not very many. I continue to pray for all survivors and their families and pray too that as a society, we will ensure that the most vulnerable and fragile are justly and appropriately cared for. In my parish all of our charitable donations are given to Br. Kevin, Alice Leahy and De Paul Trust: I know they wisely spend our gifts on all who are in need - children, young people and families. The moral and christian obligation lies before us all every day to care for and assist the most needy.

      Delete
    2. Excellent points in post @ 12.27
      especially with regard to people years ago having to care for and teach young children without any appreciable realisation of their emotional needs and the permanent damage being done to the children.

      Delete
    3. @ 12.27.Very important points about Staff, including nuns, years ago not being properly trained to appreciate children's emotional vulnerability in Homes and schools..

      Delete
  7. 11.39 why are you here if you cannot tolerate another’s posts?
    Really, it’s a serious question?

    The nuns who destroyed many young lives need to be talked about.
    Everyone knows that not all nuns were perverted, but we did have many.
    Yes I met good nuns and ones who destroyed my childhood.my parents didn’t know and perhaps they would have ignored if they had.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 11:44 Because of poor quality of comments. And the limited time available in this mortal life with the consequent need to prioritize.

      Delete
    2. 11.44 We were always lead to believe that all priests and nuns were morally perfect and superior to us. This lead to them having great power that they really didn't deserve. The laity had no chance against them.

      Delete
  8. Couldn't care less is the catholic church sank to the seabed like the Titanic. It has lost its connection with people now. There is no need for its outdated ways anymore. We have all been sickened by poncy priests, abuse, lack of leadership etc.

    I'm pleased most religion teachers, grand parents, parents and children (never mind some priests) have seen through the total self serving facade this church portrays. Thank you to all the scandals - because people are now walking away for good and our future society is now protected against this evil corporation.

    I'll be personally turning my back on the Popes Visit - I want to protect the freedom of our society and vulnerable people. Enough is Enough!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you wont be missed ;)

      Delete
    2. 13.03: Indeed, you can spout your delight. You probably have the same 'couldn't care less' attitude about the poor, the needy, the homeless, the stranger, the migrant - all groups of people who are being helped, supported and cared for by many Church Outreach Charity Groups and Agencies, staffed by religious, priests and hundreds of volunteers, inspired by their faith and the Church's Social Teachings. If you took the bother to research such Diocesan Agencies, which you can do (if you have intelligence) by logging on to each Diocese's Wedsite. Tgere you'll be zurprised and amazed. Not to mention if course, Sr. Stanislaus Kennedy (Focus Ireland): Fr. Peter McVerry and Brother Kevin Crowley (Capuchin Day Care): Sr. Consilio (Cuan Mhuire Centres): You might be enlightened by volunteering. Otherwise, keep your nonsense and hatred to yourself.

      Delete
  9. It would be interesting to hear from some former nuns on this forum

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They say Magna Carta is posing as one.

      Delete
    2. May the God of Abraham and Issac forgive, for I shan't. (Is my wimple straight?😆)

      Delete
  10. I came across this story during the week. I couldn't finish reading it all. so depressing. my heart goes out to that man.

    ReplyDelete
  11. It's easy to make accusations against the dead. What about poor Nora Wall, of the Sisters of Mercy? She was a victim of a massive miscarriage of justice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nothing poor about evil Bessie.

      Delete
  12. Bah Bah African American Sheep have you any wool?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Never heard of her

    ReplyDelete
  14. What was that comment, the other day, +Pat, about another media expose? Should we gird one's loins for another (gay) scandal.

    ReplyDelete
  15. What about Our Lady’s hospice Dublin that splashed out 700 Euro on a dine out out of funds

    ReplyDelete
  16. 18 .37
    I didn’t see the poster you criticising say anything about delight or anything untoward about charities.
    So perhaps you letting your imagination run riot.

    ReplyDelete
  17. They're named after their form of sex life, nun. KOB was a good example for them.

    ReplyDelete
  18. How are ye enjoying Easter, girls?

    ReplyDelete